My Emmy Picks

So , I just watched a shitload of "good" TV, roughly 38 hours.  When someone is nominated for an Emmy, they only get to submit one episode for voters to watch.  These are my rankings based on those chosen episodes.  I tried my damnedest not to be biased to shows I like and/or hate but you know.  Spoiler Alert!

Comedy - Actress

1.  Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - I'm going to pick her until she wins.  She's a light in the goddamn darkness.  Walk in the light, people!
2.  Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep - She's got great writing, a great character and swearing.  Tough to compete with that.
3.  Pamela Adlon, Better Things - She's a sassy, little broad.
4. Tracie Ellis Ross, Black-ish - She's mad her son is dating a white girl. I liked the flashback scenes and speaking in Dothraki.
5.  Lily Tomlin, Grace & Frankie -  I do like her hippie, absent-minded character.  It's not original, but she swears and does drugs.
6.  Jane Fonda, Grace & Frankie -  She smokes pot and she still is bitchy and controlling.  Not Jane's fault, right?
7.  Allison Janney, Mom - I hate this show.  The laugh track is dated and the jokes are forced and generic.  I love Allison Janney, I like Anna Faris & Jamie Pressley, but I fucking hate this show.  

Missed Opportunity:  There were a couple of other options:  Minnie Driver, Kristin Bell, Natalie Zea, but I'm picking Katy Mixon from American Housewife.  She hates snotty bitches and has a regular human size body.

Comedy - Actor

This was the hardest category because a lot of these shows are more weird, surreal and off-putting than actually funny.

1. Donald Glover, Atlanta - He has a sarcastic, low-key character and made me smile the most.
2. Aziz Ansari, Master of None - He is high energy and rapid-fire with jokes but a little whiny.
3. Anthony Anderson, Black-ish - He can be funny, but he always chooses emotional episodes with dramatic speeches.  This one's about the election.
4. Zach Galifianakis, Baskets - Not one of my shows but I find his voice entertaining.
5. Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent - They didn't even attempt to make jokes in this episode - it was about working at a suicide hotline.  Lots of cameos from people in actual comedy shows.
6. William H. Macy, Shameless - The only supposedly funny thing in this episode is that he was going to bang an old lady.

Missed Opportunity:  There's a ton- Ted Danson - The Good Place (hidden malevolence), Hank Azaria - Longmire (swearing and drinking), Jason Jones -  The Detour (great physicality), Neil Patrick Harris - A Series of Unfortunate Events (evil singing), Timothy Olyphant - Santa Clarita Diet (sarcasm and killing).  I feel bad that those are all white guys.

Comedy - Supporting Actress
Ugh - three people from SNL which should have its own Variety Acting Category (they're in ABC order).  This was extremely tough.

1. Judith Light, Transparent - She's very different from Angela Bower, but I'm not sure if she's a caricature or if real people act this way.  She had a one-woman show and sang Alanis Morrissette.
2. Anna Chlumsky, Veep - Being pregnant will only make her grumpier.
3. Kathryn Hahn, Transparent - She is having a faith crisis that can only be made worse when forced to hang around that horrible family.
4. Vanessa Bayer, SNL - I liked the first sketch about the perfume, but the voiceover made it funny.  She was in 5 sketches and the others only had 3.
5. Leslie Jones, SNL - Why didn't she pick the episode where she was auditioning to play Trump?  Would have been a better choice.
6. Kate McKinnon, SNL - I absolutely hated her singing 'Hallelujah' dressed as Hillary - it was awkward and weird and not funny.  And that's the episode she chose - not one of the debates or dozens of other actually funny sketches.  

Missed Opportunity - Carol Kane has the most amazing throwaway lines in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.  Jane Krakowski should have been a definite.

Comedy - Supporting Actor

1. Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Singing and throwing shade - two things Titus is great at.
2. Tony Hale, Veep - We find out about Gary's homelife.  His Dad is gay and they worship his stillborn brother.
3. Matt Walsh, Veep -  Learning about Selina's past and not getting paid.  Drink up!
4. Ty Burrell, Modern Family - Same solid acting and writing as always.
5. Alec Baldwin, SNL - How is this fair?  He's not even in the cast and is in only 1 sketch per show except for this episode where he had to stay in makeup to make out with Spicey.
6. Louie Anderson, Baskets - I couldn't find this episode anywhere and I refuse to spend 3 bucks on Louie Anderson.

Drama - Actress

1. Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid's Tale - Emmy justice for Peggy Olson!
2. Robin Wright, House of Cards - It will suck if she never gets a win for this role because she's an icy badass.
3. Viola Davis, How to Get away with Murder - Always with the snotty crying.
4. Evan Rachel Wood, Westworld - Not actually sure I know what happened but she did some stuff.
5. Claire Foy, The Crown - There must have been a better episode to choose.  She was upstaged by Churchill and horses doing it.  
6. Keri Russell, The Americans - Too much going on in this category for assassin Felicity to win.  

Missed Opportunity - Maybe the girl from 13 Reasons Why or Kerry Washington?

Drama - Actor
Pretty bland category this year.

1.  Kevin Spacey, House of Cards - I guess this is his year.  He deserves it
2.  Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us - Emotional episode with crying and feelings.
3.  Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul - I hate that brother character but Jimmy really hates him.   
4.  Milo Ventimiglia, This Is Us - This show is just not for me, just so many fakeouts and manipulations.
5.  Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan - He's solid but not flashy.
6.  Matthew Rhys, The Americans - I watch this show, but I'm not invested in it.    
7. Anthony Hopkins, Westworld - This would have been an awesome choice for supporting actor but this is not a lead role.  He had one 7 minute scene and another just standing around 

Missed Opportunity - Last year's winner, Rami Malek, got completely overlooked.  And I know it's asking too much to throw Andrew Lincoln some love.

Drama - Supporting Actress

1. Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black - There is no comparison to her in this role.  She's incredible.
2. Thandie Newton, Westworld - Badass woke robot.
3. Ann Dowd, The Handmaid's Tale - She and Margo Martindale are interchangeable and everywhere.
4. Chrissy Metz, This Is Us - I find this show manipulative and schmaltzy.  She's doing what she can.
5. Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things - She kills people with her mind and bleeds out of her facial orifices.  It's truly an honor just to be nominated.
6. Samira Wiley, The Handmaid's Tale - She didn't do anything in this episode.  Bad choice.

Missed Opportunity - Winona Ryder!!  DUH!!  She shoplifts 16 years ago and still can't get any respect.  Mel Gibson is a racist, sexist wife beater and he got an Oscar nomination last year.   You suck Hollywood.

Drama - Supporting Actor

1. John Lithgow, The Crown - I watched this episode first and I thought that no one would be able to top his performance and I was right.  He outshone the Queen.
2.  David Harbour, Stranger Things - Badass motherfucker in the present getting tasered and doing CPR and horribly sad in the past watching his daughter die.
3.  Jeffrey Wright, Westworld -  Relives his fake and real memories the way only a robot can.
4.  Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul -  Mike's always solid but he doesn't have enough to do.
5.  Ron Cephas Jones, This Is Us -  Same sad episode as Sterling K. Brown.
6.  Michael Kelly, House of Cards - He's good but so easy to overlook.
7.  Mandy Patinkin, Homeland - I love the Tink but he didn't do anything

Missed Opportunity - No love for Ed Harris in Westworld, people?  

Best Picture Rankings

Here are my rankings of the Best Picture nominees with a review in 9 words or less:

1.  Hell or High Water - Coen-esque; thankfully more Fargo and less Intolerable Cruelty.

2.  Moonlight - Frustrating and sad.

3.  La La Land - Visually stunning, vibrant colors, basic singing and dancing.

4.  Hidden Figures - A nice feel-good movie.  Kirsten Dunst is grown up.

5.  Lion - A seemingly impossible feat made possible through Google.

6.  Hacksaw Ridge - Vince Vaughn is so out of place.

7.  Manchester by the Sea - There is no need for such a sad movie.

8.  Fences - Awful character says way too many words.

9.  Arrival - I get what happened but it was soooo boring.

2016 Best Picture Possibilities

Here are the 336 movies eligible to be nominated for Best Picture this year.  Strangely, The Infiltrator starring Bryan Cranston is missing - not that it's worthy, just noticeably absent.  If they don't have a color, it just means they're whatever.  I have nothing against kids movies or foreign films or documentaries or even bad films - I just know what I like.  I've watched far too many bad movies due to a summer You Tube experiment and right now I'm at 70.  And just so you know there are over 40 sequels or remakes.  Go out in the world, meet people, have an adventure and then write something new.  Also, please stop The Rock from remaking Big Trouble in Little China.  He's not Jack Burton material.

My color coding means:

Possible Top 10 Candidate  (I haven't seen everything yet, so my list is not (ever) finalized)

Worst List - ashamed I watched it - again a You Tube thing.

Seen it

Must see ASAP

Will see eventually

Should see, but don't want to

Will never watch and I'm offended that it could be even remotely considered for Best Picture

THE ABOLITIONISTS - Doc about sex trafficking
ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS THE MOVIE - I like those drunk, old broads.
THE ACCOUNTANT - What a stupid ending to a below average movie.
ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS - I used to love Tim Burton's stuff before Y2K.
ALLIED - This was gone in a week.
ALMOST CHRISTMAS - Maybe in 2 years on Lifetime.
ALWAYS SHINE - Independent single white female
AMERICAN HONEY - It's almost 3 hours and I saw the trailer like 40 times.
AMERICAN PASTORAL - Ewan McGregor, Jennifer Connelly and Peter Riegert!
AMERICAN WRESTLER: THE WIZARD - William Fichtner alert!
THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE - Maybe I'll have to watch it at school.
ANTHROPOID - Really intense Nazi thriller.
APRIL AND THE EXTRAORDINARY WORLD - Animated, French and set in 1941.
ARMENIA, MY LOVE - Foreign drama set in 1915.
ARRIVAL - Sooo boooring and Interstellar really soured me to this shit.
ASSASSIN'S CREED - Video game nonsense, even Fassbender can't get me interested.
AUDRIE & DAISY - Doc about online bullying.
AUTHOR: THE JT LEROY STORY - Doc about an author's pseudonym.
AUTUMN LIGHTS - Mysterious hi-jinx in Iceland.
THE BFG - Not one of my books.
BAD MOMS - It was alright.
BAD SANTA 2 - Though I'm sure one's enough.
BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT - Whatever number sequel this is is too many.
BARRY - Barack Obama biopic. 
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE - The best part is Wonder Woman.
BEAUTIFUL PAIN - Can't find it on IMDB.
BEFORE THE FLOOD - Environment doc directed by Johnny #5's friend.
BEING 17 - French, gay romance.
BELIEVE - Religious and Christmas-y.
BEN-HUR - I heard this was already a movie.
A BIGGER SPLASH - Tilda Swinton is a rock star in a sex thriller - Her?
BILAL - Animated ancient warriors.
BILLY LYNN'S LONG HALFTIME WALK - Filmed at ultra-high speed rate - still don't care.
THE BIRTH OF A NATION - Even after the rape scandal, no one really liked it.
BLEED FOR THIS - I can't take another boxing movie.
BORN TO BE BLUE - Ethan Hawke as Chet Baker who I assumed was black.
THE BOSS - Ecchhh (the disgust noise while I roll my eyes.)
THE BOY - Maggie from The Walking Dead in a dumb horror movie about a dummy.
BRIDGET JONES'S BABY - Nope!
THE BRONZE - Had some funny moments.
BROTHER NATURE - Almost the whole SNL cast plus Bill Pullman!
THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY - Not ever - even though it's only 83 minutes.
CAFE SOCIETY - Annual Woody Allen film set in the 1930's.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR - Better than most superhero movies, but still...
CAPTAIN FANTASTIC - Nice film about a family off the grid.
CEMETERY OF SPLENDOR - A Thai/French drama fantasy - I guess.
CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE - Nuh uh, The Rock.
CERTAIN WOMEN - Interesting cast, maybe someday.
THE CHARNEL HOUSE - Haunted former slaughterhouse - Vegetarians should be safe.
CHEVALIER - Greek boat trip movie.
CHIEF ZABU - Filmed 30 years ago and has Ira from Romancing the Stone - I'm intrigued!
THE CHOICE - Nicholas Sparks romantic mumbo jumbo.
CHRISTINE - Depressed 1970s newscaster - I think I know what happens.  No spoilers!
CITIZEN SOLDIER - Doc about a current combat team in Afghanistan.
CITY OF GOLD - Doc about a food critic in LA.
CLOSET MONSTER - Gay kid wants to escape oppressive hometown.
COLLATERAL BEAUTY - Schmaltzy malarkey.
THE COMEDIAN - Deniro is an aging insult comic.
COMPLETE UNKNOWN - Mysterious Rachel Weisz confuses Michael Shannon.
CONFESSIONS OF A WOMANIZER - C. Thomas Howell and Gary Busey together at last!
THE CONJURING 2 - Star in movies I can watch, Patrick Wilson!
CREATIVE CONTROL - Virtual reality affair movie.
CRIMINAL - Great cast - still don't want to watch it.
CROSSCURRENT - Chinese drama about finding the meaning of life.
CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON: SWORD OF DESTINY- Very unnecessary sequel.
DANCER - Doc about a Russian... you know.
DARK HORSE - Doc about raising a race hor...you know.
DEADPOOL - I'm not really a Ryan Reynolds person, but I liked this a lot.
DEEPWATER HORIZON - Generic Mark Wahlberg movie - this time on a drilling rig.
DEMOLITION - Jake Gyllenhaal is upset after his wife's death.
DENIAL - Real life account of a women who gets sued for saying the Holocaust was real.
DESIERTO - Negan hunts humans in the desert.
DOCTOR STRANGE - Fell asleep and/or passed out in the middle - not super into it.
DOG EAT DOG - Nicolas Cage and Willem Dafoe - it must take place in 1994.
DON'T BREATHE - It wasn't horrible - has a couple of twists.
DON'T THINK TWICE - I assumed it would mock improv because it's by a standup.
DREAMLAND - Directed by Talia Shire's other son (not the Rushmore kid).
THE DRESSMAKER - Good Australian cast - Winslet, Davis, Hemsworth, Weaving.
THE EAGLE HUNTRESS - Doc about a Mongolian girl breaking stupid, patriarchal traditions.
EAT THAT QUESTION - FRANK ZAPPA IN HIS OWN WORDS - Enough said.
ECHO PARK - Misguided, lonely people in LA...Duuuuh.
EDDIE THE EAGLE - Feel-good, independent sports movie with Wolverine.
THE EDGE OF SEVENTEEN - She was just in college in Pitch Perfect 2.
EISENSTEIN IN GUANAJUATO - The first plot keyword is penis, sooooo yeah.
ELLE - The director of Starship Troopers AND the lady from The Bedroom Window.
ELVIS & NIXON - Seems interesting enough for cable.
EQUITY - Generic Wall Street movie, but with a woman!
EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! - My favorite film of his is still School of Rock.
EVERYTHING IS COPY - NORA EPHRON: SCRIPTED & UNSCRIPTED - Nuff said.
EYE IN THE SKY - Maybe someday...
FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM - Missed it at the theater.  
FENCES - I wish Elise Keating was married to him - it would've been a much better ending.
THE 5TH WAVE - It's Deep Impact 3.0.
FINDING DORY - Not as good as would I have liked - she's a better supporting character.
THE FINEST HOURS - Chris Pine, Ben Foster and Casey Affleck act for money.
FIRE AT SEA - Nominated Doc about migration in southern Italy.
THE FIRST MONDAY IN MAY - Doc about the Met Gala - really?!?
THE FITS - Independent Spirit nominee that seems interesting.
FIVE NIGHTS IN MAINE - Dianne Wiest in not a great movie.
FLORENCE FOSTER JENKINS - I did not find it funny, heartfelt or interesting.
FLOYD NORMAN: AN ANIMATED LIFE - Black animator criticizes Disney and gets fired.
THE FOREST - Queen Margaery comfronts a most-deserved ghost.
THE FOUNDER - Ray Kroc was a total jag.
FREE STATE OF JONES - Matthew McConaughey is a disillusioned Confederate - Come on!
FROM AFAR - from Venezuela.
FRONT COVER - An Asian-American's journey of self-discovery.
THE FUNDAMENTALS OF CARING - It's in my queue; haven't pulled the trigger.
GENIUS - Great cast - never heard of it.
GHOSTBUSTERS-Needs subtitle: Answer the Call, or it could be confused with a good movie
GIMME DANGER - Doc about The Stooges directed by Jim Jarmusch.
GIRL ASLEEP - Australia coming of age film.
THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN - The trailers spoiled the book - not a real mystery.
GLEASON - Doc about ALS - too depressing for me.
GOLD - McConaughey goes to Indonesia in search of gold AKA Sahara Southeast.  
GREATER - Starring Sgt. Callahan from Police Academy!
GREEN ROOM - Weird movie about escaping murderous Neo-Nazis - or America 2017.
HACKSAW RIDGE - I find the friendship of Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn to be disturbing.
HAIL, CAEASAR!- I have no idea how anyone can tolerate this movie - I hated every second.
THE HANDMAIDEN - Korean tale of love and betrayal.
HANDS OF STONE - Generic boxing movie with liberal use of actors' ages and makeup.
HARDCORE HENRY - I really dislike watching people play videogames, so yeah...
HELL OR HIGH WATER - Best movie of the year until something knocks it off its perch.
HELLO, MY NAME IS DORIS - Awkward movie about unrequited love (that's usual).
HIDDEN FIGURES - Nice, feel-good movie.  Plus Chad Radwell from Scream Queens.
HIGH-RISE - Great cast - horrible rating.
HILLSONG - LET HOPE RISE - Doc about an Australian religious band.
THE HOLLARS - Directed by Jim from The Office.
A HOLOGRAM FOR THE KING - Tom Hanks in Saudi Arabia.
HOW TO BE SINGLE - The drama is not engaging and the comedy is not funny.
HOW TO LET GO OF THE WORLD AND LOVE ALL THE THINGS CLIMATE CAN'T CHANGE - Doc about...you know.
HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE - Lost in the wilderness with Sam Neill.
THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR - Really, Jessica Chastain,  really?
I AM NOT YOUR NEGRO - Nominated Doc and narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.
I, DANIEL BLAKE - Drama about how healthcare is fucked up.
I SAW THE LIGHT - Regardless of his acting, just really boring and bad.
ICE AGE: COLLISION COURSE - Is this the one where they all die?
IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE - Western with John Travolta...
INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE - Turns out movies can suck without Will Smith.
INDIGNATION - 1950's, Jewish homosexual awakening in Ohio (its keywords on IMDB).
INFERNO - Didn't see the first two, not interested in this one.
THE INVITATION - Thriller about crazy exes.
IS THAT A GUN IN YOUR POCKET?... - Texas women withholding sex for guns.
ITHACA - Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks reunited and she's the director.
JACK REACHER: NEVER GO BACK - Go back to your cult, freak!
JACKIE - What did Natalie Postman fake doing in this movie?
JASON BOURNE - Too many, too similar, too stupid.
JIM: THE JAMES FOLEY STORY - Doc about the journalist killed on air by ISIS.
JULIETA - Pdero Almodovar's latest.
THE JUNGLE BOOK - Red undies and CGI. 
KEANU - Love cats, but not into this.
KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES - Trailer overload - cannot possibly be funny.
KEVIN HART: WHAT NOW? - Are you James Bond or a comic or neither?
KICKS - All he wants is Air Jordans.
THE KIND WORDS - Israeli film about siblings.
KINGSGLAIVE FINAL FANTASY XV - The title is as stupid as the movie (I assume).
KNIGHT OF CUPS - Another unendurable Terence Malick film.
KRISHA - Crazy family dramedy.
KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS - Nominated for Animation, but pretty long.
KUNG FU PANDA 3 - Enough is e-fucking-nough!
LA LA LAND - Looks amazing but it's a little depressing for people with dying dreams.
LAND OF MINE - Danish war film.
LANDFILL HARMONIC - Doc about an orchestra made from recycled trash.
LAST DAYS IN THE DESERT - Ewan McGregor as Jesus and the Devil
L'ATTESA - French movie with Juliette Binoche.
THE LEGEND OF BEN HALL - Australian, autobiographical Western.
THE LEGEND OF TARZAN - Even with naked Alexander Skarsgaard - still not great.
THE LENNON REPORT - Account of Lennon's murder from other viewpoints.
LIFE, ANIMATED - Nominated Doc about an autistic young man who loves Disney films.
LIFE ON THE LINE - Travolta is an electrician or something in another bad movie.
THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS - Romance about finding a Moses baby in the river.
LIGHTS OUT - Not a fucking chance.
LION - Terrible true story.
LITTLE MEN - It's on Netflix...
THE LITTLE PRINCE - Animated with Jeff Bridges.
LIVE BY NIGHT - 4th one ain't the charm, Ben.
THE LOBSTER - Started out great, got even weirder than weird.
LONDON HAS FALLEN - Ugh, again..
LONDON ROAD - A musical about real-life murders - okay...
LONG WAY NORTH - Animated, about Russians, but from France.
LOUDER THAN BOMBS - Very random cast: Huppert, Eisenberg, Byrne and Strathairn.
LOVE & FRIENDSHIP - Stuffy and British yet funny?
THE LOVE WITCH - Slutty cousin of The Witch??
LOVING - Not in theaters in Chicago - get it together.
MS DHONI - AN UNTOLD STORY -  About a famous cricket player who is only famous to people that like cricket.
MA MA - Penelope Cruz in a downer in Spanish.
MAGGIE'S PLAN - I thought it would be better.  Also, Ethan Hawke is a gross, loud eater.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN - Didn't care for the original; adding Denzel doesn't help me.
A MAN CALLED OVE - An angry guy who hates everyone - not as fun as it sounds
MAN DOWN - I thought Shia LaBeouf retired...
THE MAN WHO KNEW INFINITY - Dev Patel in a math biopic.
MANCHESTER BY THE SEA - Does anyone enjoy watching horribly sad movies like this?
MASCOTS - It's no Guffman - it'a not even the singing one.
MAX ROSE - Jerry Lewis returns to film.
ME BEFORE YOU - More romantic claptrap
THE MEASURE OF A MAN - The guy won Best Actor at Cannes for it.
THE MEDDLER - Widow Susan Sarandon meddles in Rose Byrne's life.
MEN & CHICKEN - Danish film with Mads Mikkelson.
MIDDLE SCHOOL: THE WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE - Yeah, it doesn't always get better.
MIDNIGHT SPECIAL - I thought this would be totally different - it's still not good.
MIFUNE: THE LAST SAMURAI - Doc about the Japanese actor with Scorsese and Spielberg.
MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES - Had some funny moments - not enough. 
MILES AHEAD - Just poorly done and uninteresting.
MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN - Another religious propaganda movie. 
MISS HOKUSAI - Japanese animation.
MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN - More mediocre Tim Burton.
MISS SHARON JONES! - Doc about a singer with cancer.
MISS SLOANE - Jessica Chastain as Olivia Pope?
MR. CHURCH - Eddie Murphy is a cook or something.
MOANA - Nominated for Animation but The Rock can suck it!
MONEY MONSTER - Someday whatever...
MONKEY KING: HERO IS BACK - Animated but not about Donkey Kong.
THE MONKEY KING 2 - Not sure what this could be about.
A MONSTER CALLS - Too sad for me.
MOONLIGHT - Good, sad but that grill is unforgivable...
MORGAN - Good cast...so someday.
MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS - Bad Moms was enough for me.
MUNE - French animation.
THE MUSIC OF STRANGERS: YO-YO MA AND THE SILK ROAD ENSEMBLE - Doc.
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 - Absolutely hated the first one.
MY GOLDEN DAYS - French film about sexual reminiscence - aren't they all?
MY LIFE AS A ZUCCHINI - Nominated for Best Animated film.
NEIGHBORS 2: SORORITY RISING - Girls can be just as annoying as boys!
THE NEON DEMON - Turns out women are catty bitches too.
NERUDA - Communist poet in 1940's Chile.
NEVER SURRENDER - Doc about last cavalry charge in US army history.
THE NICE GUYS - Watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang instead.
NINA - Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone.
NO LETTING GO - A family dealing with mental illness.
NOCTURNAL ANIMALS - I have no idea what this is about though.
NOW YOU SEE ME 2 - Blechhhhh - and they added twins.
O.J.: MADE IN AMERICA - Nominated Doc, but I watched it on TV.
OFF THE RAILS - Doc about a guy with Asperger's impersonating train workers.
OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY - I wonder if Jason Bateman will be sarcastic in this one.
OLYMPIC PRIDE, AMERICAN PREJUDICE - Doc about Black Olympians from 1936.
100 YEARS: ONE WOMAN'S FIGHT FOR JUSTICE - Doc about Native Americans.
ORDINARY WORLD - Starring Green Day's singer.
OTHER PEOPLE - Sad movie about cancer.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR - Horror movie nonsense.
THE OTTOMAN LIEUTENANT - Set in WWI.
OUIJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL - If we know where it came from, we can fight it.
OUR KIND OF TRAITOR - Russian spies and Ewan MacGregor.
OUR LAST TANGO - Doc about a couple of famous Tango dancers.
OUR LITTLE SISTER - Japanese and about sisters.
OUTLAWS AND ANGELS - Western with the Chad guy from the CW.
PASSENGERS - I'll be shit out of luck if it's on Starz.
PATERSON - Starring the guy that killed Han Solo.
PATRIOTS DAY - Not super-into Mark Wahlberg stuff.
PEE-WEE'S BIG HOLIDAY - So fucking awful even with naked Joe Manganiello.
PELE: BIRTH OF A LEGEND - Vincent D'Onofrio is not playing Pele.
PETE'S DRAGON - It seems like it will have a Harry & the Hendersons ending.
PHANTOM BOY - French animation.
THE PHENOM - Good Will Hunting for baseball.
PO - Family drama about autism.
POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING - I laughed fairly often.
PRESENTING PRINCESS SHAW - Doc about a You Tuber.
PRICELESS - Another Christian movie.
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES - More zombies, less Austen.
THE PURGE: ELECTION YEAR - Coming to a country like ours soon enough.
QUEEN MIMI - Doc about a lady who lives in a laundromat in LA.
QUEEN OF KATWE - Ugandan girl learns chess.
RACE - Jesse Owens in the 1936 Olympics.
THE RED PILL - Doc about the Men's Rights Movement - that's a thing?
THE RED TURTLE - Nominated for Best Animated Film and wordless.
THE REMAKE - Larry King came out of retirement for this - seriously.
REPARATION - Won the Audience Award at the Austin Film Festival.
RIDE ALONG 2 - Twice the suckiness.
RISEN - Malfoy is hanging out with Voldemort's brother.
ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY - I need to rewatch - now that the shock has worn off.
RULES DON'T APPLY - Directed by Warren Beatty and starring the new Han Solo.
THE SALESMAN - Nominated for Best Foreign Film from Iran.
SARBJIT - Indian biopic about someone I don't know.
SAUSAGE PARTY - It got strangely political.  
THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS - My first Kevin Hart movie (and last?)!
SHADOW WORLD - Doc about the arms trade.
THE SHALLOWS - Deadpool's wife fights a shark. 
THE SIEGE OF JADOTVILLE - Irish peacekeepers protect people in the Congo.
SILENCE - Spiderman and Kylo Ren are priests - and you lost me.
SILICON COWBOYS - The makers of Compaq argue like nerds - sounds like a rerun.
SILVER SKIES - Killer 70's cast - Hesseman, Van Patten, Rocco, Hamilton, Perrine.
SING - I'm sooo over McConaughey even in cartoon form.
SING STREET - Fun 80's music plus Petyr Baelish!
SNOWDEN - He uses a weird voice the whole time, but I did put tape over my webcam.
SNOWTIME! - Canadian animation about what they know best.
SOLD - Scully is hopefully trying to stop sex trafficking.
SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU - A cute, little movie about a future President.
SOUTHWEST OF SALEM: THE STORY OF THE SAN ANTONIO FOUR - Doc about women falsely accused of gang rape.
SPA NIGHT - Not Bad Moms 2 - the gay Korean kind of spa.
STAR TREK BEYOND - Good at the time but completely forgettable.
STORKS - Animated babies - still not into them.
SUICIDE SQUAD - An amazing 20 minutes and then not so much.
SULLY - This was a TV movie at best - releasing it around 9/11 didn't help for sympathy.
SUMMERTIME - It's French, so I bet it's sexy.
SUNSET SONG - Scotland in the early 1900's.
SWISS ARMY MAN - Wow, not what I thought it would be nor very good.
SWORN VIRGIN - Some sort of Albanian gender switching movie.
A TALE OF LOVE AND DARKNESS - Directed, starring and written by Natalie Portman.  
TALLULAH - Didn't finish it - not interesting or funny enough.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS - Come on, GOB!
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE - Didn't see the first one, but this has John Goodman.
10 DAYS IN A MADHOUSE - Christopher Lambert and Kelly LeBrock - at last!!
THEY WILL HAVE TO KILL US FIRST - MALIAN MUSIC IN EXILE - Obvious Doc.
THINGS TO COME - Isabelle Huppert was busy this year.
13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI - I wonder if they mention Hillary.
13TH - Nominated Doc about slavery and the prison system.
37 - Dramatization of the Kitty Genovese murder - this story is eveywhere lately.
TONI ERDMANN - German, nominated and already being remade in America.
TOO LATE - John Hawkes and Robert Forster!
TOUCHED WITH FIRE - I didn't know Katie Holmes was still acting (however well).
TOWER - Doc with animation about the Texas student shooter in the clocktower.
TROLLS - I'll watch just for the makeup and hair.
20TH CENTURY WOMEN - Maybe Annette Bening was robbed.
25 APRIL - Doc about Gallipoli - Mel Gibson is not involved.
TWO WEEKS TO GO - It's only 56 mins - doesn't seem like it should be here.
THE UNCONDEMNED - Doc about lawyers prosecuting a genocide case.
VALLEY OF LOVE - Huppert again, but with Depardieu this time.
VEERAM-MACBETH - Indian movie closely resembling the Scottish play.
VIGILANTE DIARIES - I might watch just for Jason Mewes and Michael Madsen.
WAR DOGS - Smarmy rich jags make dirty deals.
WARCRAFT - Ruth Negga and Ben Foster needed paychecks.
WE ARE X - Doc about a Japanese rock band.
WEINER - The guy is creepy and his wife wears too much lipstick.
WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT - Who is Amber Rose and who believes she's in college?
WHEN THE BOUGH BREAKS - Never promise crazy a baby.
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT - Just not a fun place to go.
WHITE GIRL - Plot seems exactly like What Happened Last Night.
WHY HIM? - You know you can pass on things, right Bryan Cranston?
WIENER-DOG - The title is literal - that's what it's about.
THE WITCH - 1600s New England.
WITHIN - Creepy house - no thanks.
WOLVES AT THE DOOR - Sort of based on the Manson murders.
X-MEN: APOCALYPSE - More Quicksilver, less blue guy.
THE YOUNG MESSIAH - Another literal title - it's about Jesus as a kid.
YOUR NAME - Japanese animation.
ZERO DAYS - Doc about the US giving Iran a computer virus that backfired.
ZOOLANDER 2 - Didn't like the first one.
ZOOTOPIA - Nominated for Animation but I thought the agenda got pushed a little too much.

Ranking the Emmy Nominees

When a person is nominated for an acting Emmy, they (or their team) submit one episode for the voters to watch which means I have watched roughly 34 (extra) hours of television the 3 last weeks.  Only 3 sets of castmates chose the same episode to cut down my watch time: Keri and Matthew (a couple in real life too), the Bloodline brothers and Tyrion and Arya (my favorite characters!)  Trying my best to be unbiased to my favorite shows and characters, here is how I rank the 2016 Emmy nominees.  Beware:  Spoilers abound!

Actress - Comedy

1.  Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - OK, I may be biased on this one.  She's charming and incredible and there's like 10 jokes a minute.  I don't like people who don't like this show.

2.  Laurie Metcalf, Getting On - I plowed through all 18 episodes of this show.  It's filled with sad, awkward and often unlikable characters.  Not to mention all the sick and dying old people.  And she is awkward, but she gets to be obnoxiously over-confident because she is nominated for an award.  This is not a show where things go smoothly or comfortably.

3.  Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep - She's won so many times, but she is awesome.  It's a downer episode about pulling the plug on her mother.  She and Claire Underwood have a lot in common, but Selina cried at the funeral  (not because of her mother).

4.  Tracee Ellis Ross, Blackish - She tries to teach her children lessons about not being a 'lady of leisure' and to work for things as opposed to begging for shoes on GoFundMe.  She gets drunk and mocks the busybody Mom who turns out to be a doctor and has her shit together.  I highly doubt that a 40 something doctor doesn't understand the internet and social media.

5.  Lily Tomlin, Grace & Frankie - She's a snarky old hippie lady who smokes pot and can't drive.  It seems familiar.

6.  Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer - I don't think sketch shows are on the same level of acting as scripted shows.  She was in 3 sketches (basically playing herself), did 45 seconds of stand up and conducted an interview where she shamelessly plugged her movie to a Gun Safety advocate.  Ten minutes of playing 3 non-characters is insulting to the other women in the category.  She'll probably win.

Actor - Comedy

This is the hardest category to choose because nothing was particularly funny, often the exact opposite.  Two episodes were political messages, two dealt with death and the other two were just okay.  Where is the comedy?

1. Aziz Ansari, Master of None -  He is a toned-down version of his character in Parks & Rec - he's whiny, self-absorbed and pretty douchey.  But he actually learns something - like how easy he has it because of the sacrifice his parents made (played by his parents).  As it turns out, old people suck at technology.

2. Thomas Middleditch, Silicon Valley - I don't watch this show, so it's the first episode I've ever seen.  He's a nerdy tech guy that spills the beans to a reporter instead of HR.  He's silly and awkward and endearing.

3. Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent - He is pretty much a lock to win and I will acknowledge that he is actually acting.  But this show is not a comedy at all.  AT ALL.  This episode is set at a womyn's outdoor fest and they refuse to let Trans people attend because of the societal privilege and political ramifications of having a penis.  It's an interesting and surprising take on how there are debates and fights within the LBGT community, but not really funny.  You're all drama, move on.

4.  Anthony Anderson, Blackish - Here's the other political piece concerning the Black Lives Matter movement.  Yes, it's an important and trending topic, but be funny while doing it (this is a comedy show).  He is adamant and near tears at times, but that's not funny - I liked the grandmother and little kids more.  He should have picked the 'Sink or Swim' episode that Tracee Ellis Ross chose.

5. Will Forte, Last Man on Earth - Such an unfortunate title because it is not the case at all.  I like this show, but this is not a funny episode.  He goes to sit at his brother's deathbed.  Stop bringing the drama in the comedy category - I've had too much of the sad shit.  Make 'em laugh.  Watch Sullivan's Travels.  A fart jar is cute, looking at your own grave is not.

6.  William H. Macy, Shameless - I really don't like this show or find it funny in any way.  They are all such fuck-ups that it is beyond believable.  Anyway, his girlfriend or whatever died and he's sad and humps her clothes in the graveyard.  He is barely in the episode and I had to plow through a terrible hour featuring the rest of the disgusting family.  BOOOOOO!

Supporting Actress - Comedy

1.  Anna Chlumsky, Veep - This is her fourth nomination.  She's always frantic and quick with a swear-filled insult.  Can she wrestle it away from Allison Janney?

2.  Allison Janney, Mom - I hate to say it because this show sucks, but she was good.  It was a lot less hokey and forced compared to last year's episode.  She just wins a lot, so spread it around.  

3.  Judith Light, Transparent - This is certainly not the Angela Bower I'm used to.  There's a tub scene - watch at your own peril.

4.  Niecy Nash, Getting On - She is the straight-faced, no-nonsense one on this show and didn't do funny stuff (I mean funny for this show).  She talked to a woman about anorexia and to her family about home health care for their mother-in-law.  

5.  Gabby Hoffman, Transparent - This character is so annoying and selfish and unlikable.  All I can see is armpit hair.  

6.  Kate McKinnon, SNL - I saw her in 3 sketches.  She was Hillary morphing into Bernie, a blob fish mermaid and Tilda Swinton.  They can't even make Celebrity Jeopardy funny anymore.

Supporting Actor - Comedy

1.  Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - He's incredible and needs to be acknowledged with a win.  He sings, he shrieks, he makes fun of everyone - he's glorious.

2.  Ty Burrell - Modern Family - He has won a lot but his character is great and I have a soft spot for squares getting high and the wackiness that ensues.  

3.  Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine - His straightedge, monotone pairs nicely with Andy Samberg's childish antics.  

4.  Tony Hale, Veep -  I'm proud of what Buster has become.  He has a total breakdown defending Selina and gets to say the F word - very un-Gary.

5.  Matt Walsh, Veep - I would have rather seen Kevin Dunn or Gary Cole get a nomination.

6.  Louie Anderson, Baskets - Yes, he's in drag, but this was uncomfortable, boring and severely unfunny.  

7.  Keegen-Michael Key, Key & Peele -  Every skit dragged on too long and sketch shows should have their own categories.

Actress - Drama

1.  Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black - Drinking, drugs, dancing, sexy time, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts and that's just one of the 6 to 8 different characters she plays every episode.

2.  Robin Wright, House of Cards -  I'm so frustrated because I want her to win and she deserves to, but this wasn't the best choice for this character.  Claire is an ice queen - don't pick an episode where she kills her mother without a tear and then gives a pandering, lackluster speech.  Pick one where she is manipulative, bitchy or pretending to have emotions.  In Ep 41, Hannah asks her if she regrets not having children and she immediately says "Do you regret having them?" - that's fucking memorable; that's Claire.

3.  Keri Russell, The Americans -  I really thought I would rate her lower, but the episode shows her and her husband and how they are dealing with things differently.  He's breaking down and she's keeping everything together.  Plus, she gives a badass comeuppance to her narc of a daughter and gets these freaky veins under her eyes.  "You get in the mood," is not exactly the most feminist speech but it's how she has survived.  Send Paige to Moscow, please!

4.  Viola Davis, How to Get away with Murder -  I know this is the Drama category and I know what that word means, but she is literally holding her dead baby for 5 minutes.  Drama doesn't have to be so exceptionally hard to watch.  An awesome courtroom speech can have just as much resonance as the cringe-inducing, worst moments ever type of drama.

5.  Claire Danes, Homeland -  The character's thing is being bipolar so she goes off her meds, is jerky to her boyfriend, falls off the wagon and has visions of the kid that she let get killed and was also banging.  This seems to happen every season.

6.  Taraji P. Henson, Empire - The most memorable thing about this character is her wardrobe.  Giant furs and weird boas that look like recycled blue teddy bears, everything else was just loud grandstanding.

Actor - Drama

1,  Rami Malek, Mr. Robot - This is a strange show and he's a strange looking guy, but this episode perfectly introduces Elliot and makes you want to keep watching.  He's a hacker Robin Hood.  He wants to help people and save the world from corporations.  He also is addicted to morphine, hates being touched, and is a self-proclaimed schizo.  Watching his blank expression while listening to his inner monologue trash the person he's talking to is hysterical.

2.  Kevin Spacey, House of Cards - He might have been first if not for that stupid cat movie.  Man, Francis is looking old this season.  He's running against a young guy, terrorists are kidnapping people and televising their deaths and Claire is going to be his VP.  But he sure can give a speech. "We don't submit to terror, we make terror," is very Heisenberg-esque.

3. Kyle Chandler, Bloodline - He has this bubbling fury just beneath his skin because he can't make everyone do what he wants.  He thinks it's for the best but it's mostly best for him.  It is all unraveling around him.  No one will help, he's alone and it's over without them.  He's just lost.

4.  Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan -  Ray gets shot by Armenians, beats up his daughter's almost statutory rapist, saves his Dad and kills said Armenians.  Naturally, he goes to Church and confesses that he was molested by the priest he killed in a previous episode.  Seems like a pretty normal day in LA.

5.  Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul - This was an awesome supporting character, but this show is boooring.  He should have picked the episode where he and Kim grift the douche in the bar.  I like Slippin' Jimmy the conman much more than trying to get the approval of his annoying as shit brother.

6.  Matthew Rhys, The Americans - Keri Russell had most of the meat in this episode.  He is falling apart from guilt and looks terrible, but visiting a grave, going to EST and playing hockey aren't really Emmy worthy.

Supporting Actress - Drama

1.  Lena Headey, Game of Thrones - Sorry but I can't be unbiased about her.  She should have won for her drunken, domineering ramblings during the Battle of the Blackwater.  All hail, Queen Cersei!

2.  Maura Tierney, The Affair -  She has a DAY.  She goes to court, dumps her boyfriend, gets drunk, gets high, goes to the salon, picks up her kids, gets into an accident and gets arrested.  Her foray into pot doesn't end as well as Phil Dunphy's.

3.  Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey - Sassy, old broad alert!  It's the last time for this character, so she could get the sentimental vote.

4.  Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones -  She ran away from the T-1000 in waif form and declared herself Arya Stark.  Now go finish that Kill List.

5.  Constance Zimmer, UnReal - Her character is best when she is in the control room  ripping on everyone.  She had to go with her boyfriend to the hospital and get confronted by his wife.  I like her confident, not humbled.

6.  Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones - She gave a speech in Dothraki, pushed over some fire pits and emerged from the fire again.  It was important for the character but not a lot going on acting-wise.

Supporting Actor - Drama

This category is all about tough guys and badass moments.

1.  Kit Harington, Game of Thrones - Badass moment: the whole episode.  He valiantly fails to save brother, draws sword against ensuing slaughter, survives deadly battle and being trampled, follows horse-riding enemy on foot, uses shield for point blank arrows, beats enemy to a bloody pulp, but doesn't kill him so his sister can get revenge on her rapist.  You know some things, Jon Snow.

2.  Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul - I am sentimentally attached to this character and wouldn't mind if he pulled an upset.  Badass moments:  He ambushes 2 much younger punks trying to ambush him and then he negotiates from death - to $50K with Tio Salamanca while outnumbered 5 to 1.  Plus, he looks just like Billy Joel.

3.  Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones - I love him, but he shouldn't have won last year.  This was a 'funny' Tyrion episode.  He tried to play a drinking game and tell jokes with people who don't drink or have a sense of humor.

4.  Jon Voight, Ray Donovan -  He had a mostly sweet episode - babysitting a horrible child wannabe actress, going to visit Terry in jail even though he won't see him and throwing a party for the apartment complex.  Badass Moment:  Kills the jaggy local pimp and makes it look like an accident.

5.  Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline - He was robbed last year and now this character has nothing to do.  Badass Moment:  Haunting his unraveling, tortured brother.  Can't wait to see him as bad guys in Rogue One and Ready Player One. 

6.  Michael Kelly, House of Cards - He really didn't do much all episode except his Badass Moment.  He attacks the Press Secretary, flips his chair and suffocates him until he relents. "If I can't have loyalty, I'll have obedience."

I didn't rewatch the 5 episodes they submitted but anyway.

Comedy Show

1. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Funniest, quirkiest show on TV or streaming or whatever.

2.  Veep - A solid comedy not sure what's going to happen next year.  Maybe a title change?

3.  Master of None - It was good enough to plow through in 2 days.

4.  Modern Family - It's still alright, but nothing spectacular.

5.  Transparent - Not a comedy!!!

N/A Blackish and Silicon Valley - I don't watch them.

Drama Show

1.  Game of Thrones - This was the best season of an amazing show - not a lot of down moments and it set up the final 13 episodes.  Shit's getting real, y'all.

2.  Mr. Robot - I feel like I didn't always know what was happening, technically speaking, but it blended shock moments, humor and drama well.  It has some very intriguing shot set-ups that keep everything off balance.

3.  House of Cards - A very good season but had a couple of meh episodes.  I hate dream /coma sequences.

These last four I judged on how quickly I would watch the show after I recorded them:

4.  Downton Abbey -  Same night.  I guess since the family endured so many tragedies through the years that it was okay to end on such a happy note for everyone, but it seemed too easy.

5.  Homeland - Within a couple of days.  Just in case in gets spoiled before I watch it.

6.  The Americans - 3 months later.  I like it, but don't love it.  Not enough happens and this nomination was reward enough.

7.  Better Call Saul - 4-5 months later.  When the annoying as shit brother recorded him, I was finally excited to watch the next episode.  Unfortunately, it was the finale.