My Dream Emmy Nominations 2013

The Emmy nominations are announced tomorrow, so here are my dream nominees.  And I do realize that my dreams rarely come true.  (Everyone should worry about that one where I have to stab people I know with dull instruments.  They had turned evil but it was disturbing and took a whole lot of effort.)

Comedy Series

• 30 Rock - Even in its waning years, it was still funnier than most shows
• Happy Endings - ABC put it on Fridays to slowly die - maybe a cable network will pick it up.
• Modern Family - Still pretty good.
• New Girl - Not relying on cuteness alone and coming into its own as a series.
• The Mindy Project - My wild card pick; it's nice that a doctor is a social disaster.
• Parks and Recreation - A little sappy this year; it was robbed of a nom in 2012.

Comedy – Lead Actress

• Zooey Deschanel, New Girl – Still cute, still quirky.
• Patricia Heaton, The Middle – This category is a little light, but she has gotten overlooked in this role.
• Mindy Kaling, The Mindy Project – She's got great throw away lines and loses control of every conversation yet keeps talking.
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep – I like people who swear.
• Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope – She says words wrong a lot.
• Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation – Time to get recognized, Leslie.

I know Lena Dunham will be nominated but I'm still super-jealous that she got to fake-bang Patrick Wilson which is really the only reason to create a show.  If only I had famous parents and talent.

Comedy – Lead Actor

• Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock – He's kind of a homophobic jag-off in real life, but Jack Donaghy is eternally cool.
• Louis C.K., Louie - He's the ultimate straight man yet a comedian.
• Neil Flynn, The Middle -  Again, I think this show gets overlooked.
• Jake Johnson, New Girl – Nick became a man.
• Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory – A well-deserved perennial favorite.
• Adam Scott, Parks and Recreation – Dorky and cute, but too much hair product.

Comedy – Supporting Actress

• Eliza Coupe, Happy Endings – Everyone goes ape-shit for Casey Wilson, but Jane is the brains and balls of the group. 
• Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock – She's never won and has some of the best, most self-obsessed lines.
• Aubrey Plaza, Parks and Recreation – Winner of most eye rolls per minute.
• Christa Miller, Cougar Town – Just because she wasn't eligible last year - it was probably Dime-eyes' fault.
• Sofia Vergara, Modern Family – Julie Bowen gets all the credit
• Jessica Walter, Arrested Development – Still an amazing character.

Comedy – Supporting Actor

• Ty Burrell, Modern Family – Consistently funny.
• Max Greenfield, New Girl – Enough with the fat suit already.
• Simon Helberg, The Big Bang Theory – Always a bridesmaid in a dickey...
• Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation – Because he's Ron F****** Swanson, that's why!
• Ed O’Neill, Modern Family – The under appreciated heart of the show.
• Jeffrey Tambor, Arrested Development – He did play 2 roles.
• Damon Wayans, Jr., Happy Endings – More feminine than the girls and gay guy, yet still more masculine than the other straight guy.  

Drama Series

• Breaking Bad - It has never won, and that's ridiculous.
• Game of Thrones - Boring, boring, boring - Holy Shit!  Red Wedding!
• Homeland - It tapered off this season, but it's still pretty cool.
• Mad Men - Another perennial that has its down episodes but also has some incredible ones.
• The Newsroom - Definitely a show for liberals but I'm cool with that.
• Sons of Anarchy - So many bad things happen at once, it sucks to watch it week to week.

Drama - Lead Actress

• Claire Danes, Homeland – The interrogation scene - enough said.
• Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife -  I guess she's good in a good show.
• Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black - This show is way cool and she's like 7 people.
• Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men – Oh Peggy, no men to turn to anymore, so just take over the whole goddamn company.
• Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy – You never know when to trust her or to run like hell - right, Tara?
• Kerry Washington, Scandal – Pretty slutty - good thing she's hot and kinda noble.

Drama - Lead Actor

• Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad – He wasn't eligible last year which is the only reason he lost.
• Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom – He's fighting the good fight with self-righteous dialogue.
• Jon Hamm, Mad Men – Don needs to start saving money for Sally's therapy.
• Damian Lewis, Homeland – See Claire Danes.
• Andrew Lincoln, The Walking Dead – His wife is dead, he's got a baby that might not be his in the zombie apocalypse - it's enough to make anyone crazy.
• Jonny Lee Miller, Elementary – He made a nuanced and original take on the character.

Drama - Supporting Actress

• Jennifer Carpenter, Dexter –Making Dexter go to serial killer rehab is not as easy as she thought.
• Michelle Fairley, Game of Thrones – Red F****** Wedding - at least she took a creepy Frey with her.
• Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad – She's so trapped, but really rich.
• Christina Hendricks, Mad Men - St. Joan of bad decisions - you can't make Bob Benson straight.
• Emily Mortimer, The Newsroom - She should be in the Lead Actress category.
• Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey – The show was down but she's still amazing.

Drama - Supporting Actor

• Jonathan Banks, Breaking Bad – He knew Walt would be the death of him...
• Tony Goldwyn, Scandal - Wow, this is a frustrating character, yet pretty hot.
• Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men – Time for sweaty-faced Pete to get some Academy love - they shave his head for a receding hairline for Christ's sake!
• Bob Oedenkirk, Breaking Bad – Way too under appreciated.
• Mandy Patinkin, Homeland - No reason why he didn't get nominated last year.
• Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad – He's just really good.
• Sam Waterston, The Newsroom – I'm not sure if he's an alcoholic or has Parkinson's, but he's a badass.

Guest Actress - Comedy

• Maria Bamford, Arrested Development - Really strange role for a strange girl.
• Gaby Hoffmann, Louie -She talked and talked while Louie did nothing - someone deserves credit for that scene.
• Liza Minnelli, Arrested Development - Always great as Lucille 2.
• Megan Mullally, Parks and Recreation - Tammy 2 is always a welcome guest.
• Jenny Slate, Parks and Recreation - She reminded me of Rafi from The League.
• Octavia Spencer, 30 Rock - Laying it down hard, Oscar-winner style.

Where was Merrit Wever for New Girl?  BOOOOOO!

Guest Actor - Comedy

• Matthew Broderick, Modern Family - Ferris is kind of gay.
• Anders Holm, The Mindy Project - I really liked his character but hate religion.
• Tim Minchin, Californication - He was an amazing fuck-up.
• Mike O'Malley, Glee - You can't not love this character whenever he's on screen - he'll be nominated again next year for Finn's funeral episode.  RIP Cory Monteith.
• John Slattery, Arrested Development - He plays a great drugged-out weirdo, remember 30 Rock?
• Dean Winters, 30 Rock - It's the last we'll see from the Beeper King...tear.

I totally would have picked Rafi from The League, but he wasn't listed.  He kills me.

Guest Actress - Drama

• Alison Brie, Mad Men – Laid the hurt on sweaty-faced Pete.
• Jane Fonda, The Newsroom - She's a badass and she and Charlie had that fake-happy conversation - kudos on both parts.
• Shirley McClaine, Downton Abbey - She proves Americans were never this stuffy.
• Martha Plimpton, The Good Wife - She's tricky and says smart things.
• Carrie Preston, The Good Wife - Ellsbeth is unknowingly cool.
• Diana Rigg, Game of Thrones - Another tough old broad to turn tradition on its ass - I want my cheese now too dammit.

Guest Actor - Drama

• Jere Burns, Justified - I'm going from season 3 because I'm not caught up but I love Kirk from Dear John making a comeback.
• Walton Goggins, Sons of Anarchy - He is everywhere and I'm really liking it, but only this one time with those knockers.
• Harry Hamlin, Mad Men – I think he makes a quirkier, even-more casual counterpart to Roger.
• Eddie Izzard, Hannibal - I've got to pick someone else, even though Michael J. Fox is going to win.
• Harold Perrineau, Sons of Anarchy - Badass in a set your daughter on fire while you watch and then go buy neighborhood children ice cream kind of way.
• Matthew Perry, The Good Wife - He's just so smarmy.

It's gotta win for makeup, right?