My Emmy Picks

So , I just watched a shitload of "good" TV, roughly 38 hours.  When someone is nominated for an Emmy, they only get to submit one episode for voters to watch.  These are my rankings based on those chosen episodes.  I tried my damnedest not to be biased to shows I like and/or hate but you know.  Spoiler Alert!

Comedy - Actress

1.  Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - I'm going to pick her until she wins.  She's a light in the goddamn darkness.  Walk in the light, people!
2.  Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep - She's got great writing, a great character and swearing.  Tough to compete with that.
3.  Pamela Adlon, Better Things - She's a sassy, little broad.
4. Tracie Ellis Ross, Black-ish - She's mad her son is dating a white girl. I liked the flashback scenes and speaking in Dothraki.
5.  Lily Tomlin, Grace & Frankie -  I do like her hippie, absent-minded character.  It's not original, but she swears and does drugs.
6.  Jane Fonda, Grace & Frankie -  She smokes pot and she still is bitchy and controlling.  Not Jane's fault, right?
7.  Allison Janney, Mom - I hate this show.  The laugh track is dated and the jokes are forced and generic.  I love Allison Janney, I like Anna Faris & Jamie Pressley, but I fucking hate this show.  

Missed Opportunity:  There were a couple of other options:  Minnie Driver, Kristin Bell, Natalie Zea, but I'm picking Katy Mixon from American Housewife.  She hates snotty bitches and has a regular human size body.

Comedy - Actor

This was the hardest category because a lot of these shows are more weird, surreal and off-putting than actually funny.

1. Donald Glover, Atlanta - He has a sarcastic, low-key character and made me smile the most.
2. Aziz Ansari, Master of None - He is high energy and rapid-fire with jokes but a little whiny.
3. Anthony Anderson, Black-ish - He can be funny, but he always chooses emotional episodes with dramatic speeches.  This one's about the election.
4. Zach Galifianakis, Baskets - Not one of my shows but I find his voice entertaining.
5. Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent - They didn't even attempt to make jokes in this episode - it was about working at a suicide hotline.  Lots of cameos from people in actual comedy shows.
6. William H. Macy, Shameless - The only supposedly funny thing in this episode is that he was going to bang an old lady.

Missed Opportunity:  There's a ton- Ted Danson - The Good Place (hidden malevolence), Hank Azaria - Longmire (swearing and drinking), Jason Jones -  The Detour (great physicality), Neil Patrick Harris - A Series of Unfortunate Events (evil singing), Timothy Olyphant - Santa Clarita Diet (sarcasm and killing).  I feel bad that those are all white guys.

Comedy - Supporting Actress
Ugh - three people from SNL which should have its own Variety Acting Category (they're in ABC order).  This was extremely tough.

1. Judith Light, Transparent - She's very different from Angela Bower, but I'm not sure if she's a caricature or if real people act this way.  She had a one-woman show and sang Alanis Morrissette.
2. Anna Chlumsky, Veep - Being pregnant will only make her grumpier.
3. Kathryn Hahn, Transparent - She is having a faith crisis that can only be made worse when forced to hang around that horrible family.
4. Vanessa Bayer, SNL - I liked the first sketch about the perfume, but the voiceover made it funny.  She was in 5 sketches and the others only had 3.
5. Leslie Jones, SNL - Why didn't she pick the episode where she was auditioning to play Trump?  Would have been a better choice.
6. Kate McKinnon, SNL - I absolutely hated her singing 'Hallelujah' dressed as Hillary - it was awkward and weird and not funny.  And that's the episode she chose - not one of the debates or dozens of other actually funny sketches.  

Missed Opportunity - Carol Kane has the most amazing throwaway lines in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.  Jane Krakowski should have been a definite.

Comedy - Supporting Actor

1. Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Singing and throwing shade - two things Titus is great at.
2. Tony Hale, Veep - We find out about Gary's homelife.  His Dad is gay and they worship his stillborn brother.
3. Matt Walsh, Veep -  Learning about Selina's past and not getting paid.  Drink up!
4. Ty Burrell, Modern Family - Same solid acting and writing as always.
5. Alec Baldwin, SNL - How is this fair?  He's not even in the cast and is in only 1 sketch per show except for this episode where he had to stay in makeup to make out with Spicey.
6. Louie Anderson, Baskets - I couldn't find this episode anywhere and I refuse to spend 3 bucks on Louie Anderson.

Drama - Actress

1. Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid's Tale - Emmy justice for Peggy Olson!
2. Robin Wright, House of Cards - It will suck if she never gets a win for this role because she's an icy badass.
3. Viola Davis, How to Get away with Murder - Always with the snotty crying.
4. Evan Rachel Wood, Westworld - Not actually sure I know what happened but she did some stuff.
5. Claire Foy, The Crown - There must have been a better episode to choose.  She was upstaged by Churchill and horses doing it.  
6. Keri Russell, The Americans - Too much going on in this category for assassin Felicity to win.  

Missed Opportunity - Maybe the girl from 13 Reasons Why or Kerry Washington?

Drama - Actor
Pretty bland category this year.

1.  Kevin Spacey, House of Cards - I guess this is his year.  He deserves it
2.  Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us - Emotional episode with crying and feelings.
3.  Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul - I hate that brother character but Jimmy really hates him.   
4.  Milo Ventimiglia, This Is Us - This show is just not for me, just so many fakeouts and manipulations.
5.  Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan - He's solid but not flashy.
6.  Matthew Rhys, The Americans - I watch this show, but I'm not invested in it.    
7. Anthony Hopkins, Westworld - This would have been an awesome choice for supporting actor but this is not a lead role.  He had one 7 minute scene and another just standing around 

Missed Opportunity - Last year's winner, Rami Malek, got completely overlooked.  And I know it's asking too much to throw Andrew Lincoln some love.

Drama - Supporting Actress

1. Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black - There is no comparison to her in this role.  She's incredible.
2. Thandie Newton, Westworld - Badass woke robot.
3. Ann Dowd, The Handmaid's Tale - She and Margo Martindale are interchangeable and everywhere.
4. Chrissy Metz, This Is Us - I find this show manipulative and schmaltzy.  She's doing what she can.
5. Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things - She kills people with her mind and bleeds out of her facial orifices.  It's truly an honor just to be nominated.
6. Samira Wiley, The Handmaid's Tale - She didn't do anything in this episode.  Bad choice.

Missed Opportunity - Winona Ryder!!  DUH!!  She shoplifts 16 years ago and still can't get any respect.  Mel Gibson is a racist, sexist wife beater and he got an Oscar nomination last year.   You suck Hollywood.

Drama - Supporting Actor

1. John Lithgow, The Crown - I watched this episode first and I thought that no one would be able to top his performance and I was right.  He outshone the Queen.
2.  David Harbour, Stranger Things - Badass motherfucker in the present getting tasered and doing CPR and horribly sad in the past watching his daughter die.
3.  Jeffrey Wright, Westworld -  Relives his fake and real memories the way only a robot can.
4.  Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul -  Mike's always solid but he doesn't have enough to do.
5.  Ron Cephas Jones, This Is Us -  Same sad episode as Sterling K. Brown.
6.  Michael Kelly, House of Cards - He's good but so easy to overlook.
7.  Mandy Patinkin, Homeland - I love the Tink but he didn't do anything

Missed Opportunity - No love for Ed Harris in Westworld, people?