Oscar Nominations

Any day that starts with Chris Hemsworth can't be that bad.  I guess it was for some people, sorry Tom Hanks.  And in news that makes me want to vomit, Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa has an Oscar nomination but James Gandolfini does not.

Best Picture
"12 Years A Slave"
"American Hustle"
"Dallas Buyers Club"
"Her"
"Nebraska"
"Captain Phillips"
"The Wolf of Wall Street"
"Gravity"
"Philomena"

No big surprises here except for having an idiotic 9 contenders.  Choose 10 or 5, this is dumb.

Directing
Alfonso Cuaron - "Gravity"
Steve McQueen - "12 Years A Slave"
Alexander Payne - "Nebraska"
David O. Russell - "American Hustle"
Martin Scorsese - "The Wolf of Wall Street"

No one was picking Scorsese, but they really thought Spike Jonze had a chance.  Think, McFly, think!

Actress in a Leading Role
Cate Blanchett - "Blue Jasmine"
Sandra Bullock - "Gravity"
Judi Dench - "Philomena"
Meryl Streep - "August: Osage County"
Amy Adams - "American Hustle"

There is no one who can stop the Streep from train a'rollin'.  Her character is sick, so she was a lock.

Actor in a Leading Role

Bruce Dern - "Nebraska"
Chiwetel Ejiofor - "12 Years A Slave"
Matthew McConaughey - "Dallas Buyers Club"
Christian Bale - "American Hustle"
Leonardo DiCaprio - "The Wolf of Wall Street"

There has been a change in the Force, Wooderson has an Oscar nomination.  I suppose I can keep livin', I still have to see that movie.   Leo is getting a lot of love too, knocking off two old-timers.  Redford has been complaining about the lack of a campaign, but nobody saw your movie, dude.

Actress in a Supporting Role
Sally Hawkins - "Blue Jasmine"
Jennifer Lawrence - "American Hustle"
Lupita Nyong'o - "12 Years A Slave"
Julia Roberts - "August: Osage County"
June Squibb - "Nebraska"

I know it's wrong to revel in someone's defeat, but I a sooo happy that Oprah didn't get a nomination.  I know I'm petty and jealous but fuck her and her giant head.  Yay, June Squibb!  Sassy old lady alert.

Actor in a Supporting Role

Barkhad Abdi - "Captain Phillips"
Michael Fassbender - "12 Years A Slave"
Jared Leto - "Dallas Buyers Club"
Bradley Cooper - "American Hustle"
Jonah Hill - "The Wolf of Wall Street"

Anyone else shocked that Jared Leto is the oldest dude in this group of people?  Jordan Catalano is 42 and Fassbender is only 36.  Mike, you've got to stay out of the sun.  Meanwhile, Jonah Hill's chompers and fake weiner pushed out James Gandolfini.

Writing (Original Screenplay)
"American Hustle" - Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell
"Blue Jasmine" - Woody Allen
"Her" - Spike Jonze
"Nebraska" - Bob Nelson
"Dallas Buyers Club" - Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack

Gravity didn't need a nomination.  Sandra Bullock breathes heavy for an hour.  

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
"Before Midnight" - Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke
"Captain Phillips" - Billy Ray
"Philomena" - Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope
"12 Years A Slave" - John Ridley
"The Wolf of Wall Street" - Terence Winter

Why not just make Blue Jasmine or Before Midnight a Best Picture nominee to make it even?

Makeup and hairstyling
"Dallas Buyers Club"
"Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa"
"The Lone Ranger"

How is American Hustle not in this category?  All of their hair was apeshit the whole movie.

Golden Globes 2014 (but for 2013 movies)

A couple of notes about last night's Golden Globes:

Amy and Tina's best line: "George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend another minute with a woman his own age."

Runner-Up:  "Masters of Sex is the degree I got from Boston College."

This was Breaking Bad and Bryan Cranston's first Golden Globe?  A little behind the times HFPA.  But you get a 'Yeah, Bitch!' for finally getting it right.  They had me from Day 1.

I don't know who Taylor Kinney is but I know he can't say candelabra.  First impressions are everything.

Bono's glasses reached a record-high level of jag-baggery.

I still don't think I'm ready for Matthew McConaughey to be considered a legitimate actor.  Let's see if he gets an Oscar nomination on Thursday before I have to take an official stance.

The whole Woody Allen situation is so weird, especially how she said he is great for actresses.  Are there women who refuse to work with him because of his creepiness?  Besides Mia Farrow, of course.  Does anyone refuse to work with Roman Polanski?  Because they should - I read the transcripts, he's gross.

Hearing the name Steve McQueen and then seeing a large, black British man is quite jarring.

Hearing that Michael Douglas won a Golden Globe for Romancing the Stone is also jarring, but in a strangely pleasant way.

Worst Dress:  

That ruffle could clothe all of the Somali pirates.

Runner-Up:

Don't old women wear purple and red together as a joke?  This is not funny.