The Emmy nominations are announced tomorrow, so here are my dream nominees. And I do realize that my dreams rarely come true. (Everyone should worry about that one where I have to stab people I know with dull instruments. They had turned evil but it was disturbing and took a whole lot of effort.)
Comedy
Series
- 30 Rock - Even in its waning years, it was still funnier than most shows
- Happy Endings - ABC put it on Fridays to slowly die - maybe a cable network will pick it up.
- Modern Family - Still pretty good.
- New Girl - Not relying on cuteness alone and coming into its own as a series.
- The Mindy Project - My wild card pick; it's nice that a doctor is a social disaster.
- Parks and Recreation - A little sappy this year; it was robbed of a nom in 2012.
Comedy
– Lead Actress
- Zooey Deschanel, New Girl – Still cute, still quirky.
- Patricia Heaton, The Middle – This category is a little light, but she has gotten overlooked in this role.
- Mindy Kaling, The Mindy Project – She's got great throw away lines and loses control of every conversation yet keeps talking.
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep – I like people who swear.
- Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope – She says words wrong a lot.
- Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation – Time to get recognized, Leslie.
I know Lena Dunham will be nominated but I'm still super-jealous that she got to fake-bang Patrick Wilson which is really the only reason to create a show. If only I had famous parents and talent.
Comedy
– Lead Actor
- Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock – He's kind of a homophobic jag-off in real life, but Jack Donaghy is eternally cool.
- Louis C.K., Louie - He's the ultimate straight man yet a comedian.
- Neil Flynn, The Middle - Again, I think this show gets overlooked.
- Jake Johnson, New Girl – Nick became a man.
- Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory – A well-deserved perennial favorite.
- Adam Scott, Parks and Recreation – Dorky and cute, but too much hair product.
Comedy
– Supporting Actress
- Eliza Coupe, Happy Endings – Everyone goes ape-shit for Casey Wilson, but Jane is the brains and balls of the group.
- Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock – She's never won and has some of the best, most self-obsessed lines.
- Aubrey Plaza, Parks and Recreation – Winner of most eye rolls per minute.
- Christa Miller, Cougar Town – Just because she wasn't eligible last year - it was probably Dime-eyes' fault.
- Sofia Vergara, Modern Family – Julie Bowen gets all the credit
- Jessica Walter, Arrested Development – Still an amazing character.
Comedy
– Supporting Actor
- Ty Burrell, Modern Family – Consistently funny.
- Max Greenfield, New Girl – Enough with the fat suit already.
- Simon Helberg, The Big Bang Theory – Always a bridesmaid in a dickey...
- Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation – Because he's Ron F****** Swanson, that's why!
- Ed O’Neill, Modern Family – The under appreciated heart of the show.
- Jeffrey Tambor, Arrested Development – He did play 2 roles.
- Damon Wayans, Jr., Happy Endings – More feminine than the girls and gay guy, yet still more masculine than the other straight guy.
Drama
Series
- Breaking Bad - It has never won, and that's ridiculous.
- Game of Thrones - Boring, boring, boring - Holy Shit! Red Wedding!
- Homeland - It tapered off this season, but it's still pretty cool.
- Mad Men - Another perennial that has its down episodes but also has some incredible ones.
- The Newsroom - Definitely a show for liberals but I'm cool with that.
- Sons of Anarchy - So many bad things happen at once, it sucks to watch it week to week.
Drama - Lead Actress
- Claire Danes, Homeland – The interrogation scene - enough said.
- Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife - I guess she's good in a good show.
- Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black - This show is way cool and she's like 7 people.
- Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men – Oh Peggy, no men to turn to anymore, so just take over the whole goddamn company.
- Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy – You never know when to trust her or to run like hell - right, Tara?
- Kerry Washington, Scandal – Pretty slutty - good thing she's hot and kinda noble.
Drama - Lead Actor
- Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad – He wasn't eligible last year which is the only reason he lost.
- Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom – He's fighting the good fight with self-righteous dialogue.
- Jon Hamm, Mad Men – Don needs to start saving money for Sally's therapy.
- Damian Lewis, Homeland – See Claire Danes.
- Andrew Lincoln, The Walking Dead – His wife is dead, he's got a baby that might not be his in the zombie apocalypse - it's enough to make anyone crazy.
- Jonny Lee Miller, Elementary – He made a nuanced and original take on the character.
Drama - Supporting
Actress
- Jennifer Carpenter, Dexter –Making Dexter go to serial killer rehab is not as easy as she thought.
- Michelle Fairley, Game of Thrones – Red F****** Wedding - at least she took a creepy Frey with her.
- Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad – She's so trapped, but really rich.
- Christina Hendricks, Mad Men - St. Joan of bad decisions - you can't make Bob Benson straight.
- Emily Mortimer, The Newsroom - She should be in the Lead Actress category.
- Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey – The show was down but she's still amazing.
Drama - Supporting
Actor
- Jonathan Banks, Breaking Bad – He knew Walt would be the death of him...
- Tony Goldwyn, Scandal - Wow, this is a frustrating character, yet pretty hot.
- Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men – Time for sweaty-faced Pete to get some Academy love - they shave his head for a receding hairline for Christ's sake!
- Bob Oedenkirk, Breaking Bad – Way too under appreciated.
- Mandy Patinkin, Homeland - No reason why he didn't get nominated last year.
- Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad – He's just really good.
- Sam Waterston, The Newsroom – I'm not sure if he's an alcoholic or has Parkinson's, but he's a badass.
Guest Actress - Comedy
- Maria Bamford, Arrested Development - Really strange role for a strange girl.
- Gaby Hoffmann, Louie -She talked and talked while Louie did nothing - someone deserves credit for that scene.
- Liza Minnelli, Arrested Development - Always great as Lucille 2.
- Megan Mullally, Parks and Recreation - Tammy 2 is always a welcome guest.
- Jenny Slate, Parks and Recreation - She reminded me of Rafi from The League.
- Octavia Spencer, 30 Rock - Laying it down hard, Oscar-winner style.
Where was Merrit Wever for New Girl? BOOOOOO!
Guest Actor - Comedy
- Matthew Broderick, Modern Family - Ferris is kind of gay.
- Anders Holm, The Mindy Project - I really liked his character but hate religion.
- Tim Minchin, Californication - He was an amazing fuck-up.
- Mike O'Malley, Glee - You can't not love this character whenever he's on screen - he'll be nominated again next year for Finn's funeral episode. RIP Cory Monteith.
- John Slattery, Arrested Development - He plays a great drugged-out weirdo, remember 30 Rock?
- Dean Winters, 30 Rock - It's the last we'll see from the Beeper King...tear.
I totally would have picked Rafi from The League, but he wasn't listed. He kills me.
Guest Actress - Drama
- Alison Brie, Mad Men – Laid the hurt on sweaty-faced Pete.
- Jane Fonda, The Newsroom - She's a badass and she and Charlie had that fake-happy conversation - kudos on both parts.
- Shirley McClaine, Downton Abbey - She proves Americans were never this stuffy.
- Martha Plimpton, The Good Wife - She's tricky and says smart things.
- Carrie Preston, The Good Wife - Ellsbeth is unknowingly cool.
- Diana Rigg, Game of Thrones - Another tough old broad to turn tradition on its ass - I want my cheese now too dammit.
Guest Actor - Drama
- Jere Burns, Justified - I'm going from season 3 because I'm not caught up but I love Kirk from Dear John making a comeback.
- Walton Goggins, Sons of Anarchy - He is everywhere and I'm really liking it, but only this one time with those knockers.
- Harry Hamlin, Mad Men – I think he makes a quirkier, even-more casual counterpart to Roger.
- Eddie Izzard, Hannibal - I've got to pick someone else, even though Michael J. Fox is going to win.
- Harold Perrineau, Sons of Anarchy - Badass in a set your daughter on fire while you watch and then go buy neighborhood children ice cream kind of way.
- Matthew Perry, The Good Wife - He's just so smarmy.
It's gotta win for makeup, right?
