Golden Globes 2013

              Everyone knows the Golden Globes are kind of a joke, not as bad as the People's Choice Awards, but close.  Apparently, there are only 90 people in the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and can we trust them?  How can you trust an award show when all television supporting roles are put in one category?  Schmidt from New Girl has to compete against Mandy Patinkin from Homeland and they both lost to Ed Harris in Game Change.  Plus, Giancarlo Esposito and Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad weren't even nominated; the whole situation is nonsense.
               Anyhoo, there were very few surprises except for Best Director.  Unlike the Oscars, the Golden Globes nominated worthy candidates:

Best Director - Motion Picture

Ben Affleck for Argo (2012)

Other Nominees:

Kathryn Bigelow for Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

Ang Lee for Life of Pi (2012)

Steven Spielberg for Lincoln (2012)

Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained (2012)

         And they remembered John Hawkes from The Sessions, though he couldn't stop the DDL buzzsaw.  Other than that, not much happened.  Tina and Amy were funny.  Jodie Foster's a lesbian.  Mel Gibson tried to seem like a normal person.  George Clooney is awesome and everyone wants to hang with him - you know, the regular Hollywood malarkey.

Best line:   “Kathryn Bigelow’s nominated tonight. I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron.” 

Best win:  Christoph Waltz - He was my favorite part of that movie.

Worst Dressed:  Rosario Dawson.  It looks like it was made from one of Mr. Furley's old leisure suits.  I had to google if she was pregnant or just blind.

2012 Oscar Nominations

Yes, they are the 2012 nominations because these movies came out in 2012.  It is super-annoying when people (and Netflix and IMDB) refer to the Oscars in the year the ceremony took place because it gets everyone confused and it's just plain wrong.  I still haven't seen every movie, but I'm kind of annoyed, not as annoyed as Ben Affleck, but still.  Thanks for trying to be funny Seth MacFarlane, but speed it up, some of us gots to go to work.  And while no one ever thought that Chris Tucker would be in a Best Picture nominee, Walton Goggins (Shane from "The Shield") is in two - now google 'Venus Van Dam.'

Best Picture - 9 nominees is just dumb.  Find a 10th or go back to 5.

• "Argo" - Really interesting and suspenseful with a lot of character actors all resurrected in one movie.
• "Django Unchained" - It's good but in the bottom third of QT movies (which makes it better than most movies.)  Goggins Alert!
• "Les Miserables" - They sure did sing a lot, like... a lot.
• "Life of Pi" - Fine, I'll see it.
• "Amour" - I'll see it when it gets to this state.
• "Lincoln" - A really long episode of the "West Wing."  Goggins alert #2!
• "Silver Linings Playbook" - Is it about mental illness, finding love, football, gambling, dancing?  Pick one or two, not all.  Terrible title also.
• "Zero Dark Thirty" - Must See Immediately
• "Beasts of the Southern Wild" - Maybe the kid but not Best Pic.

Glaring Omissions:  I liked "The Sessions" better than half of these movies.  At least I don't have to sit through "The Hobbit" right away.

Directing - What the shit happened in this Category?  No QT, Bigelow or Ben Chompers?!?

• "Amour" - Michael Haneke - Okay maybe, but...
• "Beasts of the Southern Wild" - Benh Zeitlin - Really?!?  Are you kidding me?
• "Life of Pi" - Ang Lee - Sure I guess, but...
• "Lincoln" - Steven Spielberg - The only normal pick.
• "Silver Linings Playbook" - David O. Russell - George Clooney and Lily Tomlin are pissed because they hate him.  The movie is 4 different genres all at once, and it's not as good as "The Fighter."

Glaring Omissions:  Everyone that made a good movie.  The Academy is a bunch of racist, sexist, anti-Bentites (even though QT is white).  "Les Miz" had some amazing shots, but I found those close-up solos horribly awkward and uncomfortable, so I'm cool with Hooper's omission.

Actor in a Leading Role

• Bradley Cooper - "Silver Linings Playbook" - I'm happy about this, he was a good with the manic-ness.
• Daniel Day-Lewis - "Lincoln" - Probably going to be the first to have 3 Best Actor Oscars.
• Hugh Jackman - "Les Miserables" -  A little pitchy, dawg (I'm quoting Frank from "Always Sunny in Philly")
• Joaquin Phoenix - "The Master" - Haven't seen it but alright and who doesn't want to make fun of Scientology?
• Denzel Washington - "Flight" - Come on people.  I know he's some kind of national treasure but 87% of his movies are the same thing - one of them is even named "Deja Vu."  

Glaring Omissions:  John mother-effing Hawkes from "The Sessions."  I guess he wasn't as good at being bedridden as Denzel in "The Bone Collector."  Academy, I'm violently angry about this and shame on you.  He was on par with DDL and you really suck for overlooking a great portrayal of positivity and humor in such a negative situation.  Hawkes played a paralytic, lost weight, died - you usually eat that shit up.  WTF?

Actress in a Leading Role

• Jessica Chastain - "Zero Dark Thirty" - Haven't seen it yet.
• Jennifer Lawrence - "Silver Linings Playbook" - I don't get it, I really don't.  I wasn't with her at all.
• Emmanuelle Riva - "Amour" - HSIY
• Quvenzhané Wallis - "Beasts of Southern Wild" - It was interesting and sad.
• Naomi Watts - "The Impossible" - HSIY

Glaring Omissions:  Not a lot of other options out there this year.

Actor in a Supporting Role

• Alan Arkin - "Argo" - Was he a ever a young, free-spirited person?  Doesn't seem likely.
• Robert De Niro - "Silver Linings Playbook":  Fun fact:  hasn't had a nom in 21 years.
• Philip Seymour Hoffman - "The Master" - Scientology nutjob wackiness.
• Tommy Lee Jones - "Lincoln" - He is not aging well - the skin is melting off of his face and hands.
• Christoph Waltz - "Django Unchained" - Great decision; he was the best part of the movie and I want to know who crafted the quirkiness of the role, Christoph or QT?

Glaring Omissions:  I'm sticking with my own theme and am going with William H. Macy in "The Sessions."

Actress in a Supporting Role

• Amy Adams - "The Master" - Waiting not-so-patiently for the DVD release.
• Sally Field - "Lincoln" - Fun fact:  She is 2 for 2 in Oscar nominations.  Doesn't it seem like there would have been more?.
• Anne Hathaway - "Les Miserables" - Cutting that hair was rough, but the solo was good in a horribly sad way.
• Helen Hunt - "The Sessions" - Not as good as John mother-effing Hawkes, but still good.
• Jackie Weaver - "Silver Linings Playbook" - Alright, I guess so... 

Glaring Omissions:  I saw "Compliance" and it is hard to watch.  I guess Ann Dowd was good, but I can't recommend that anyone else see it.