My Oscar Picks

Here's who I think should win - it certainly won't be who actually does.

Best Picture - With a review in 9 words or less.

1.  Room - Best movie of the year: original, suspenseful, meaningful.

2.  Mad Max: Fury Road - Crazy, unexplained shit going as fast as possible.

3.  Brooklyn - Quiet, lovely character study.

2.  The Revenant - Beautifully shot but a little long.

5.  The Big Short - Understood it more than the ending of Trading Places.

6.  Spotlight - Wanted to loooooove it but reading microfiche is boring.

7.  The Martian - Good movie.  Sure.  Oscar worthy?  Not so much.

8.  Bridge of Spies - It takes a long time getting to that bridge.

9.  Carol - Slow and methodical. 

Best Director

1. George Miller, Mad Max: Fury Road - So much amazing visual stuff happening.  
2. Alejandro G. Inarritu, The Revenant - A lot of great shots and scenes.
3. Lenny Abrahamson, Room - A much smaller, intimate film than 1 & 2.

4. Tom McCarthy, Spotlight - I loved The Station Agent, The Visitor and Win Win.  Those films are why I didn't put him last.

5. Adam McKay, The Big Short - He's directed 5 Will Ferrell movies.  That's why he's last.

Best Actress

1. Brie Larson, Room - She's frantic, desperate, broken yet hopeful.

2. Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn - Very subtle but strong like a good Irish girl.

3. Cate Blanchett, Carol - She's always good - Australia's Meryl Streep.

4. Charlotte Rampling, 45 Years – I didn't see it, but I liked DOA.
5. Jennifer Lawrence, Joy – Wasn't Meryl in a movie this year?  Because this one sucked.

Best Actor

1.  Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant – It's definitely unlike his other work.  He didn't even get nominated for The Departed, Catch Me If You Can, Django Unchained or Titanic.

2.  Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl - He looked great as a woman, but Hawking was his masterpiece.
3.  Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs - It's hard to make Fassbender unattractive, but white gym shoes and a T-neck did the trick.

4.  Matt Damon, The Martian - He lost some weight, but it's still just Matt Damon in space.

5. Bryan Cranston, Trumbo – Didn't get to see this, sorry Heisenberg.

Best Supporting Actress

1. Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight – She was awesome – funny and stood her own with the dudes.

2. Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl – She was quirky, emotional and endearing.

3. Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs – Not enough for an Oscar, so she'll win.
4. Rooney Mara, Carol – She stared off into space a lot; she's much cooler as Lisbeth Salander.
5. Rachel McAdams, Spotlight – She highlights a mean phone book.

Best Supporting Actor 

1. Tom Hardy, The Revenant - As I was watching it, I couldn't believe he wasn't considered a lock for a nomination.  A perfect foil to Leo's bubbling rage.

2. Christian Bale, The Big Short - Another complete transformation - didn't understand what he was talking about, but he said it well.

3. Sylvester Stallone, Creed - He's not known for his acting skills and there are a lot more  people that deserve a career award.

4. Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies - He was a fun treat in a dry movie.

5. Mark Ruffalo, Spotlight - He had an outburst, but it's not memorable enough.

My Emmy Picks 2015

I'm getting this in just under the wire, but I have completed my self-given mission to watch all the episodes submitted by the actors for the Emmys.  Unlike the Oscars, the Emmys have a committee of people for each category and they have to watch all the episodes in a marathon to be able to vote.  I had to watch roughly 35 hours of TV, plus all of Bloodline to avoid spoilers; it's pretty good.  I already watched 13 of the 14 series nominated (sorry Silicon Valley), so I didn't rewatch the 6 chosen.  I ranked them in order of deservedness and the asterisks mean that they were one of my picks to be nominated.  I can't do this without spoilers, but I'll try with Bloodline because you should watch it.

BEST COMEDY SERIES:

5. LOUIE - It's just watching an awkward, sad guy instead of a comedy.

4. MODERN FAMILY - It still has its moments.

3. PARKS AND RECREATION - Treat yo self after 7 solid seasons.

7. SILICON VALLEY - Maybe I'll catch up OnDemand.

6. TRANSPARENT - This is not a comedy.  It's ironic that people thought the Bluths were unlikable because this family is the whiniest, most annoying, self-centered group of jagoffs in TV history.

*1. UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT - So many weird and awesome throwaway lines.  Everyone needs to watch this, probably more than once, and definitely with closed captions.

*2. VEEP - Is this a foreshadowing America?  Not a female President, just an incompetant one.  Oh yeah, I'm political.

BEST COMEDY ACTRESS:  Ellie Kemper was robbed!

4. Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie - "I Say a Little Prayer" - The character had worn out her welcome, so her possible death was not such a shock.

*2. Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback -  "Valerie Is Taken Seriously" - Hard to watch, but in a good way. 

*3. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep - "Election Night" - She's good but also has a lot of Emmys - let's spread it around. 

*1. Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation - "One Last Ride" - I would like her to win in her last chance, but this is the sappy last epsiode.  I prefer frantic and manic Leslie the 'Bitch Boss.'

6. Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer - "Cool With It" - While I did laugh, I think sketch should be in a different category. 

5. Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie - "The Vows" - She should have picked a different episode.  I liked when they dressed each other and were fun - because it's a comedy.

BEST COMEDY ACTOR:  Tambor should and will win for the whole season, but...

7. Anthony Anderson, Black-ish - "Sex, Lies and Vasectomies" - This was the only epsiode I've ever seen and I found it to be completely sexist and hacky.  The men cringe when the female co-worker mentions her period.  He lied about his vasectomy - so did Jackson on The Gilmore Girls.

5. Don Cheadle, House of Lies - "It's a Box Inside a Box" - He's still Don Cheadle just fast-talking and a touch smarmier.

4. Louis C.K., Louie - "Bobby's House" - He gets completely emasculated, violated and dumped.  Cue the tears.

*1. Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth - "Alive in Tucson" - He was only one in it, except for his not-so-supportive undies.

*3. Matt LeBlanc, Episodes - "Episode 405" - Joey Tribbiani is out of money and getting old, but he's really slutty and swears a lot.

6. William H. Macy, Shameless - "A Night to Remem - Wait, What?" - This show might be popular, but I don't like any of these characters' decisions and they aren't charming or funny enough to make me watch the resolutions.

*2. Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent - "The Letting Go" - This was not the best ep to choose.  While he does have a nice coming out moment, he's only in like 3 scenes.  The horrible family clogs up the rest.

BEST COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTRESS:  Carol Kane was also robbed!  I really like that show!  Watch it!

3. Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory - "The Prom Equivalency" - She had some nice moments with Sheldon and got an "I love you."

4. Julie Bowen, Modern Family - "Valentine's Day 4: Twisted Sister" - Same old Claire.

2. Anna Chlumsky, Veep - "Convention" - She has an awesome blow-up at JLD and calls her useless and terrible.

5. Gaby Hoffmann, Transparent - "Rollin'" - Knowing she was in Uncle Buck and seeing her now is very distracting.  She's also a really disgusting and unsympathetic character.

7. Allison Janney, Mom - "Dropped Soap and a Big Guy on a Throne" - She would have been last if not for my sketch comedy rule.  This show is terrible and watching 22 minutes has irreparably damaged my intelligence.  For shame, Emmy voters.

1. Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - "Kimmy Gets a Job" - She never won for 30 Rock and she's playing a closeted Native American who turned into a nouveau riche C-bomb.  Cousin Vicki became a gold digger.

8. Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live - "Host: Taraji P. Henson" - Again with the sketch comedy.  Plus, she got upstaged by Darrell Hammond.

6. Niecy Nash, Getting On - "7th Annual Christmas Card Competition" - I've never seen this show, but there has to be an episode where something happens or she makes an expression.  This was a terrible choice.  She should have submitted an old Reno 911.

BEST COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTOR:  This was a tricky one to rate, they all had strong eps.

5. Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine - "The Mole" - He's solid, but didn't have any showy moments like the other guys.

*1. Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - "Kimmy Goes to School" - Pinot Noir is a star!  Killer tool sash.

4. Ty Burrell, Modern Family - "Crying Out Loud" - He had some cool slapstick gags behind the movie screen.  I hope that wasn't a stunt double.

3. Adam Driver, Girls - "Close-Up" - While it wasn't comedic, he had a great blowup at Mimi-Rose about the abortion. 

2. Tony Hale, Veep - "East Wing" - After being a pushover for years, he got to scream and rant at the President.  Don't piss off people that know all of your secrets.

6. Keegan-Michael Key, Key and Peele - "Sex Detective" - Sketch alert, but I liked Obama's angry interpreter.

BEST DRAMA SERIES:

5. BETTER CALL SAUL - Too much weird brother and not enough Mike.

7. DOWNTON ABBEY - Now Anna's in jail for murder after her husband was in jail for murder, really?  Really?!?

*2. GAME OF THRONES - Just watch the last 3 episodes.

6. HOMELAND - One good episode and the rest were confused and pointless.

*4. HOUSE OF CARDS - Much better than that convoluted, political mumbo jumbo that dominated season 2.

*3. MAD MEN - A fine send-off.

*1. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK - An amazing second season which hopefully will not be overshadowed by the crap of Season 3.

BEST DRAMA ACTRESS:  I'll be fine with Viola, but I'm pulling for a Tatiana upset.

6. Claire Danes, Homeland - "From A to B and Back Again" - Sleeping with a very young asset and she almost killed Saul.  I didn't think she could be more erractic, especially while on her meds.

*2. Viola Davis, How to Get Away With Murder- "Freakin' Whack-a-Mole" - Great courtroom scene and moment with her husband.

5. Taraji P. Henson, Empire - "Pilot" - This show is so soap-y, but she does chew that scenery well.

*1. Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black - "Certain Agony of the Battlefield" - She plays 6 people and not in different sketches - they interect and have different accents and mannerisms.  You forget that they are all her.    

*3. Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men - "Person to Person" - I would like Peggy to win but I think this was the wrong episode.  She should have chosen the one where she rollerskates around Roger and then shows up to work like a total badass with her creepy octopus sex painting.

*4. Robin Wright, House of Cards - "Chapter 32" - She went rogue in her speech in Russia and had a cool throwdown with Kevin.

BEST DRAMA ACTOR:  Let's win one for the Draper!

5. Kyle Chandler, Bloodline - "Episode 112" - Lots of guilt over almost letting Danny get killed and then ...  Good but not good enough. 

6. Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom - "What Kind of Day Has It Been?" - He already won.  Let's move on.

*1. Jon Hamm, Mad Men - "Person to Person" - Last call for Don Draper.  He did cry a lot in this one, but I think even after his Coke commercial success, he went back to the same old neglectful, slutty, egocentric Don.

*4. Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul - "Pimento" - Maybe in 2 years?

*3. Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan - "Walk This Way" - A very stoic badass who gets drunk and dances to Walk This Way (the RUN-DMC version of course) in tight jeans.  Pretty hot.

*2. Kevin Spacey, House of Cards - "Chapter 32" - How about next year?  He deserves one, let's just hold off until 2016.

BEST DRAMA SUPPORTING ACTRESS:  Oprah, Uma, Uzo

*1. Uzo Aduba, Orange is the New Black - "Hugs Can Be Deceiving" -   No one can touch her in this role.  She commands every second of your attention when she's onscreen.  No contest.  

4. Christine Baranski, The Good Wife - "Loser Edit" - Same old Diane - smart, liberal, outraged, wears nice clothes.

5. Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones - "The Dance of Dragons" - She didn't show up for 37 minutes, and then had almost no dialogue.  Yeah, she rode a dragon, but I'm almost positive that was CGI.

6. Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey - "Episode 5.08" - All she did was get arrested - horrible episode choice.  In the next one, she at least spoke a little.  

*2. Lena Headey, Game of Thrones - "Mother's Mercy" - Cersei's literal walk of shame.  

*3. Christina Hendricks, Mad Men - "Lost Horizon" - She's had 6 noms with no wins.  She'll land on her feet, just like Joan.

BEST DRAMA SUPPORTING ACTOR:  I'm really torn.  This is a toss-up.

*2. Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul - "Five-0" - Finally, we get Mike's background story and it's so cool.  He's a great character and actually gets to show some emotion and cry.  But his whole season doesn't stand up next to Ben Mendelsohn.

5. Jim Carter, Downton Abbey - "Episode 5.09" - He's an old bear trying to cling to the past, and he finally realizes Mrs. Hughes is his future. 

4. Alan Cumming, The Good Wife - "Undisclosed Recipients" - Eli's best moments are when he's yelling and raising his eyebrow.

6. Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones - "Hardhome" - He has 2 scenes where he's calm and talking to Dany and that's not enough for this category.  

3. Michael Kelly, House of Cards - "Chapter 27" - He did a lot in this episode: physical therapy, lying to the police, breaking his arm in the shower, taping his arm back together to go to a meeting, realizing his career is over, falling off the wagon, 

1. Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline - "Part 12" -  He's this slimy chameleon who is menacing and pitiful at once.  He switches from dangerous to pathetic to totally manipulative.  Let's hope we see him in Season 2 - maybe like he we saw Sarah?

My Emmy Nominations

The real Emmy nominations come out on Thursday morning, but these are mine for the not-so-small cross-section of television that I watch.  Several shows ended this year – Mad Men, Justified, Sons of Anarchy, Boardwalk Empire, Parks and Rec, Nurse Jackie, Glee, Cougar Town, The Killing, True Blood (which I downright loathed) and it really was time for them to go.  What will waste my time now?  Let’s adhere to the laws of alphabetics and start with Comedy:

Comedy Show

I’m really not digging a lot of comedy shows this year.  I laugh more at the last 2 minutes of The Goldbergs when they show the real family’s video footage than most entire episodes.  I don’t watch Silicon Valley and I loathe almost everything on CBS.  Plus, Big Bang, Louie, Girls, Modern Family all seem tired, but are guaranteed nominations.  It’s ridiculous that Bob’s Burgers is not eligible because it’s animated. 

• Community – I miss Troy, but it was a good season.  Steve Guttenberg Alert!
• Happyish – Miserable people making fun of hipster douchebags. 
• Jane the Virgin – Cute enough, kind of like Ugly Betty.
• The Last Man on Earth – They don’t have to hire extras.
• Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – Thanks for being you, Tina Fey.
• Veep – Still solid.

Best Actress – Comedy

• Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – Think Brendan Fraser in Blast from the Past.  I realize no one has ever written that as a compliment before, but I stand by it.
• Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback – Such a horrifying train wreck but hard to look away.
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep – Incompetent yet angry.
• Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation – It’s her last chance, people!
• Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin – I’ll hate it next year when they baby comes.
• Kristin Schaal, The Last Man on Earth – So annoying, but she is Louise Belcher.

Best Actor – Comedy

• Steve Coogan, Happyish – It was supposed to be Philip Seymour Hoffman.
• Billy Crystal, The Comedians – Why not?
• Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth - He’s got a Larry David vibe because nothing goes right and then he gets blamed.
• Matt LeBlanc, Episodes – He playing a douchier version of himself.  Brave, right?
• Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Kind of smarmy but likable.
• Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent – The show is not funny, but it’s here anyway.

This was one of the hardest categories to choose.  I know Louie and Parsons will be here but whatever.  I still hold out hope for Neil Flynn on The Middle - always underappreciated.

Best Supporting Actress – Comedy

• Alison Bree, Community – I doubt being on Yahoo raised viewership.
• Kathryn Hahn, Happyish – She’s a cool Mom that hates everyone.
• Carol Kane, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – Dirty old lady alert.
• Aubrey Plaza, Parks and Recreation – Dirty young lady alert.
• Stephnie Weir, The Comedians – So awkward and uncomfortable.
• Merrit Wever, Nurse Jackie – So nice and sweet and impossible to be.

A special shout-out to Melora Hardin on Transparent for giving Big Boo on OITNB a run for her butch money.

Best Supporting Actor – Comedy

• Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – Black, gay and old.
• Kevin Dunn, Veep – Best lines in the show.
• Josh Gad, The Comedians – Also playing a douchier version of himself (hopefully)
• Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation – Ron Swanson doesn’t want your validation.
• Chris Pratt, Parks and Recreation – He never has to do TV again.
• Jim Rash, Community – Either he’s gotten more to do or everyone else is doing less.

I couldn’t find Jamie Camil who plays Rogelio on Jane the Virgin on the list.  Bummer!

Guest Actress – Comedy

• Tina Fey, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – I have a feeling it won’t get one real nom.
• Laurie Metcalf, The Big Bang Theory – It’s fun to rip on overbearing, religious people.
• Megan Mullally, Parks and Recreation – I’ll miss you most of all, Tammy 2.
• Rhea Perlman, The Mindy Project – Nick and Carla Tortelli reunited.
• Michaela Watkins, Transparent – I like her in everything or the 3 things I’ve seen.

Guest Actor – Comedy

• Jim Florentine, Louie – He was a jaggy comic Louie had to stay with in the condo.
• Jon Hamm, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – He better get at least one this year!
• Jason Mantzoukas, The League – How Rafi became Rafi.
• Tim Blake Nelson, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – You can’t not like him.
• Seth Rogen, The League – Dirty Randy returns.
• Bradley Whitford, Transparent – Always fun to watch – even in a dress.

Drama Show

• The Affair – Shot from 2 points of view and you never know the truth.
• Game of Thrones – The last 3 episodes made up for a boring beginning.
• House of Cards – Where will you go from here?
• Mad Men – It ended well.
• Orange is the New Black – It had a much better chance in the comedy category.
• The Walking Dead – It won’t be nominated but it’s the only show I watch live and then watch people talk about it. 

Best Actress – Drama

• Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder – Several murders is more accurate.
• Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Back – She’s 6 distinct characters – wake up, people!
• Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men – Badass Peggy Olson.
• Kerry Washington, Scandal – Viola may take off her makeup and wig, but Kerry lets her fro go.
• Ruth Wilson, The Affair – I can’t figure out her face.
• Robin Wright, House of Cards – The brown hair was off-putting.

I really liked Agent Carter, unfortunately, Hayley Atwell is too much of a longshot.

Best Actor – Drama

• Jon Hamm, Mad Men – It’s Don’s Draper’s last hurrah.  Make it happen!
• Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul – He’s always good – the show is a little slow.
• Timothy Olyphant, Justified – It wrapped up a little too cleanly.
• Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan – A stoic anti-hero, like Louie but tough and attractive.
• Kevin Spacey, House of Cards – Do not steal this from Jon Hamm – you’ve got another season to win yours.
• Dominic West, The Affair – Just because Jimmy McNulty never got one.

Supporting Actress – Drama

• Uzo Aduba, Orange is the New Black – Time for a Crazy Eyes spin-off.
• Lena Headey, Game of Thrones – I have a feeling she will get her revenge.
• Christina Hendricks, Mad Men – She don’t need a man, she’s got work to do!
• Kate Mulgrew, Orange is the New Black – I couldn’t decide between her or Vee.
• Lorraine Toussaint, Orange is the New Black – Slocked and loaded.
• Bellamy Young, Scandal – She certainly doesn’t suffer in silence.

I love Maura Tierney in The Affair, but that won’t help her here.

Supporting Actor – Drama

• Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul – More Mike episodes, please!
• Jere Burns, Justified – He’s been in everything, but Wynn Duffy was awesome.
• Walton Goggins, Justified – How does a racist cracker speak so fluently?
• Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men – They made him fat and bald, so give Sweaty-faced Pete a chance!
• Mandy Patinkin, Homeland – Gotta love the Tink.
• John Slattery, Mad Men – I can’t believe he survived the series.

Guest Actress – Drama

• Marcia Gay Harden, How to Get Away with Murder – I needed a 5^th actress.
• Julia Ormond, Mad Men – Mean and French, redundant much?
• Carrie Preston, The Good Wife – Elsbeth Tascioni should guest star on every show.
• Diana Rigg, Game of Thrones – Badass old lady Alert!
• Kiernan Shipka, Mad Men – Her character’s life won’t be easy.

Guest Actor – Drama

• Ed Asner, The Good Wife – Lou Grant turned into even more of a sexist jag.
• Walton Goggins, Sons of Anarchy – Give Venus Van Dam an Emmy!
• Oliver Platt, The Good Wife – He’s always fun to watch, even as a Republican.
• Pablo Schreiber, Orange is the New Black – The return of Porn-stache.
• Aaron Staton, Mad Men – He lost an eye for them, but he got his.

Best Picture Nominee Rankings

Here is how I rank the Best Picture Nominees and a review in 8 words or less:


1.  Whiplash - Vern Schillinger returns to kick music's ass.

2.  The Imitation Game - Cumberbatch is a badass, gay genius.

3.  Birdman - Hard to recommend; actors are smarmy douches.

4.  The Theory of Everything - I liked Mr. Mom, but Holy Shit!

5.  Boyhood - It seemed like it was going somewhere...

6.  American Sniper - Cooper was good; the ending was obscenely abrupt.

7.  Selma - Very upset to find out he cheated constantly.

8.  The Grand Budapest Hotel - Watch The Royal Tenenbaums instead.

5 Things about the Emmys...

5 things I loved about the Emmys:

• Jimmy Kimmel ripping on Matthew McConaughey
• Weird Al's TV theme lyrics, especially his plea to George R.R. Martin
• That Matthew McConaughey, Julia Roberts and Mark Ruffalo all lost even though they were picked to win.
• That Martin Freeman got an Emmy, even though it wasn't for Fargo.
• Breaking Bad finished strong.

5 things I hated about the Emmys:

• Martin Freeman not winning an Emmy for Fargo.
• Presenting the Guest Actor awards at the technical ceremony.  I wanted to see Uzo Aduba win!
• The commercials for NBC's terrible new shows - Bad Judge and whatever that crap with Debra Messing is - UGH!
• Allison Janney winning for that hacky role on a horrible show.  Anyone else was the better choice.  Writing in Courtney Thorne-Smith for According to Jim was a better choice.
• This dress:  

5 really disturbing things about the Emmys:

• Matthew McConaughey's face.  Stay out of the sun, dude!  Maybe he'll win an Emmy for playing Robert Redford in a Lifetime movie.
• Sara Bareilles' nose ring - it was like she had a lightning bug on her face.
• Gwen Stefani auditioning to be on SNL as a Donatella Versace impersonator - plus, her inability to read or be remotely charismatic.
• That Debra Messing's eye color changes throughout that commercial and that she is wearing a bright green T-neck.  Does that ever happen?  I won't watch it just for that shirt.
• Stephen Colbert talking to his invisible friend and Key and Peele's 'impromptu' skit.

My Emmy picks

I probably should have started this when they were announced, but on Thursday, I was struck with the amazing idea to watch all the Emmy nominated episodes for acting.  Once they get nominated, the actor (or agent or network) gets to choose the one episode that will be sent out for the voters to watch.  Some of them chose poorly.  I watched them all (in the last 84 hours) – even shows I have never seen – and have ranked them in order of Emmy deservingness.  I tried not to be biased to the shows I like, which is nearly impossible.  Thankfully, some episodes were nominated by co-workers, so it boiled down to about 34 hours of TV in 3.5 days.  I don’t have a lot to do and I don’t like going outside when it’s hot anyway.  Meanwhile, spoilers abound because I can’t not mention stuff.  You have been warned. 

BEST COMEDY ACTRESS:

1. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Veep” – episode “Crate” – She’s really funny in this role.  I love swearing and thinking everyone’s an idiot.

2.  Taylor Schilling, "Orange is the New Black" - episode "The Chickening" – She was getting starved out and looked awful.  Plus, she had a bunch of outburst scenes. 

3.  Melissa McCarthy, "Mike and Molly" - episode "Mind Over Molly" – I quit this show because it’s hacky and she’s too mean, but she had some good moments in the shrink’s office
4.  Lena Dunham, "Girls" - episode "Beach House" – That green bikini and having no shame are such foreign concepts to me.  Plus, she said, “I’ve been called a narcissist since I was 3.”

5. Amy Poehler, "Parks and Recreation" - episode "Recall Vote" – She got depressed and drunk.
6. Edie Falco, "Nurse Jackie" - episode "Super Greens" – Horrible episode choice.  She should have picked the one where she tricked her sponsor into rehab.  She hardly did anything.

BEST COMEDY ACTOR:   This was a tricky category and my least favorite choices – I don’t watch three of the shows, and 2 are basically playing themselves.

1.  Matt LeBlanc, "Episodes" - episode "Episode 306" – He’s uber-Joey: super dumb, slutty, and unsuccessful but with excessive swearing.

2.  Jim Parsons, "The Big Bang Theory" - episode "The Relationship Diremption" – He’s just really good in this role, there’s no way around it.

3. Don Cheadle, "House of Lies" - episode "Wreckage" – Maybe I’ll watch this now.  It does have Jean-Ralphio.
4.  Louis C.K., "Louie" - episode "Model" – Sad sack Louie gets lucky and actually smiled at the end.  He also bombed, got embarrassed by Seinfeld and fell down.
5.  Ricky Gervais, "Derek" - episode "Episode 2.6" –It’s very weird and hard to understand.  I laughed when he looked at the camera.
6.  William H. Macy, "Shameless" - episode "Lazarus"- He was barely in it and didn’t have much to do when he was.

BEST COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTRESS:  Not great choices.  I can't wait for Uzo Aduba next year!

1.  Kate Mulgrew, "Orange is the New Black" - episode "Tit Punch" – She makes people outcasts even though she was one.  I think she just hates blondes.

2.  Mayim Bialik, "The Big Bang Theory" - episode "The Indecision Amalgamation" – She’s a good foil to Sheldon and feigned interest in video games.
3.  Julie Bowen, "Modern Family" - episode "The Feud" – She yelled and was shrill, but also got lice.
4.  Anna Chlumsky, "Veep" - episode "Detroit" – I was going to put her at #2, but I couldn’t remember anything she did in the episode.  I remember Chris Meloni. 
5.  Allison Janney, "Mom" - episode "Estrogen and a Hearty Breakfast" – Horrible laugh track and obvious, just-for-shock jokes.  CJ Cregg would be embarrassed.
6.  Kate McKinnon, "Saturday Night Live" - episode "Host: Anna Kendrick" – I laughed at the German chancellor but this show is too hard to watch and should not be included in this category.

BEST COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTOR:  None of these episodes wowed me and I’m really apathetic to all the choices.

1.  Tony Hale, "Veep" - episode "Crate" – Great scene with Julia in the bathroom.  I liked how he sat on the couch with her bag listening to her so attentively. 

2.  Ty Burrell, "Modern Family" - episode "Spring-a-Ding Fling" – He had nice a cross-dressing moment in his parody song.  Classic Dunphy.

3.  Andre Braugher, "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" - episode "Christmas" – Monotone and gay, but not amazing.
4.  Adam Driver, "Girls" - episode "Two Plane Rides" – There have been better episodes with him.  He only had 2 scenes.  I liked the one where his sister visited – I would have picked him to win.

5.  Fred Armisen, "Portlandia" - episode "Pull-Out King" – This show is weird and so is Fred Armisen.  I did laugh a couple of times, so maybe I’ll keep watching.
6.  Jesse Tyler Ferguson, "Modern Family" - episode "Message Received" – His Dad can’t understand his wedding and he’s mean to Cam.  Seen it.

BEST DRAMA ACTRESS:  I thought I had this one figured out immediately until I watched them again.  So much crying in these.   I'm fine with any of the top 3 winning.

1.  Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife" - episode "The Last Call" – I really didn’t want to watch the Will is dead episode again – thanks a  lot!  She did all the stages of grief thing and had a last voicemail from him.  Then she finds out he was mad at her when he called. 
2.  Kerry Washington, "Scandal" - episode "The Fluffer" – She’s a badass in this show with the world’s most fucked up parents.  She could win.
3.  Robin Wright, "House of Cards" - episode "Chapter 26" – She should have submitted the interview episode.  She was incredible in it and the whole show went downhill after it.  She definitely would have won – Bad Decision Jeans.

4.  Claire Danes, "Homeland" - episode "The Star" – I’m just over this show.  I hated this season – I won’t even say what happened so other people can watch and be disappointed with me.

5.  Lizzy Caplan, "Masters of Sex" - episode "Pilot" – She didn’t do a lot in the first one, admits sex and love aren’t exclusive in the 50’s and jumps right into watching people bang.

6.  Michelle Dockery, "Downton Abbey" - episode "Episode 4.1" – Matthew’s dead, she’s sad and calls her kid an orphan.  She manages to be hostile and unsympathetic even as a widow.

BEST DRAMA ACTOR:  Heisenberg or Wooderson?  What will happen?

1.  Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad" - episode "Ozymandias" – This one goes back to the first cook to show that his evolution into evil genius is complete.  He watched Hank die, turned Jesse over to the Nazis after telling him about Jane.  He got into a knife fight, stole the baby and did his best to un-implicate Skyler in his crimes.  He was busy.

2.  Matthew McConaughey, "True Detective" - episode "Form and Void" – I think this was a bad choice.  He spent a lot of time holding a gun in a maze.  He had one speech at the end, but I liked him his stuff in the interrogation room in earlier episodes.

3. Woody Harrelson, "True Detective" - episode "The Locked Room" – Poor Woody got overshadowed in this show because of MM, but he was good lying to his wife and going ballistic on his mistress’ date.
4.  Jon Hamm, "Mad Men" - episode "The Strategy" – I think he’ll win next year.  This episode made me angry that Elisabeth Moss and Vincent Kartheiser didn’t get nominated.
5.  Kevin Spacey, "House of Cards" - episode "Chapter 26" – Again, not the right episode.  Things happen but not enough to showcase how good he is in this role.

6.  Jeff Daniels, "The Newsroom" - episode "Election Night, Part 2" – He made one speech about being a Republican and asked Mac to marry him.  Not enough to repeat.

BEST DRAMA SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

1.  Anna Gunn, "Breaking Bad" - episode "Ozymandias" – Tears and emotions aplenty in this one. 
2.  Lena Headey, "Game of Thrones" - episode "The Lion and the Rose" – She’s so smug and mean to Brienne.  She was better drunk in the battle of the Blackwater though.

3.  Maggie Smith, "Downton Abbey" - episode "Episode 4.8" – Again, just a complete badass in this role.

4.  Christine Baranski, "The Good Wife" - episode "The Last Call" – She’s always good (but never won on this show) and cried a lot over Will.  
5.  Joanne Froggatt, "Downton Abbey" - episode "Episode 4.2" – Yeah, she got raped but it was in the last 5 minutes and she did her quivering lip crying thing.  I think one of the follow up episodes would have been a better choice.
6.  Christina Hendricks, "Mad Men" - episode "The Strategy" – All she did was rebuff Bob and say that Harry sucks.  We all know that. 

BEST DRAMA SUPPORTING ACTOR:  Extremely hard to choose between the Top 4.

1. Aaron Paul, "Breaking Bad" - episode "Confessions" – He got interrogated, bamboozled by Walt (again), kicked Saul’s ass, figured it all out and he cried A LOT!!
2.  Josh Charles, "The Good Wife" - episode "Hitting the Fan" – He was good and I like him so much better than Chris Noth.  He was betrayed, got outraged, threw some stuff and did dirty lawyer tricks.
3.  Peter Dinklage, "Game of Thrones" - episode "The Laws of Gods and Men" – He got screwed over big time by almost everyone he knows.  You can never truly be friends with spiders or whores.
4.  Mandy Patinkin, "Homeland" - episode "Gerontion" – Got to love the Tink.  He's always so outraged at everyone's immorality and his beard is almost its own character.
5. Jon Voight, "Ray Donovan" - episode "Fite Nite" – I might start watching this show, but September will be here soon.  He was way too mean to Rosanna Arquette and his accent was sketchy.

6.  Jim Carter, "Downton Abbey" - episode "Episode 4.1" – He had some nice moments with bitchy Mary, but it’s not flashy enough for this category.